Thursday, May 30, 2024

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Concern as Norfolk gets vote for first time

By Polly Ticks
Political Correspondent

There was widespread concern today about the people of Norfolk being given the vote for the first time later this year, the Suffolk Gazette can reveal.

The remote county has been excluded from all democratic processes for centuries because it is widely accepted that the locals are not educated enough to understand the complexities of politics.

While most Norfolk people can not read, many more can not write – or even hold a pencil correctly in order to mark a cross on a ballot paper.


But now the Electoral Commission has insisted the county gets the vote, with a trial set for the EU in/out referendum in June.

An insider said: “We don’t expect many from Norfolk to have a clue what’s going on, but in modern Britain everyone should be treated equally and have their say on important matters.

“We are creating some special drawings to show residents how to vote on the day, and just have to assume they have a basic understanding of what the issues are and which way they want to vote.”

A major concern is that huge numbers of locals could easily be bribed with turnips or Woodforde’s Wherry beer.

However, one man said he was looking forward to voting for the first time. “I love X Factor and it can’t be any harder than voting on that,” said Billy Bob Spuckler, from Downham Market.

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