Giant 300-foot rabbit spotted in Suffolk creates carrot chaos.
By Our Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred
BURY ST EDMUNDS – Residents of rural Suffolk were left stunned this week after reports emerged of a 300-foot rabbit roaming the countryside, casually nibbling on hedgerows, flattening allotments, and—according to one eyewitness—“looking slightly confused but otherwise polite.”
The enormous creature, nicknamed Big Flopsy by locals, was first sighted near Bury St Edmunds at dawn on Tuesday, hopping serenely across a barley field. “At first I thought it was the church tower moving,” said villager Pam Draycott. “Then it blinked at me, and I realized I’d either gone mad or Suffolk had a new tourist attraction.”
Authorities have yet to confirm the existence of the giant lagomorph, though Suffolk Police did issue a statement urging residents “not to approach, feed, or attempt to mount the rabbit.” The Ministry of Agriculture, meanwhile, has sent a team of “specialist carrot consultants” to investigate.
Hopping mad
The National Trust has expressed concern about potential damage to heritage sites. “If it heads towards Sutton Hoo, we’re in trouble,” warned a spokesperson. “We barely survived the moles last year.”
Social media has been flooded with blurry photos showing what appear to be two enormous ears silhouetted against the sunrise, while conspiracy theorists online are already speculating that the creature is the result of a government experiment involving Easter eggs, Brexit, and leftover Covid vaccines.
Despite fears, local businesses are embracing the phenomenon. Framlingham’s bakery has launched Bunny Buns, while the pub, The Leaping Hare, reports record bookings for its new “Rabbit Ale Trail.”
When asked for comment, a DEFRA representative sighed: “Frankly, after the pandemic, bird flu, and exploding whales, a 300-foot rabbit is hardly our strangest call this year.”
For now, Suffolk residents remain on alert—armed with binoculars, camera phones, and, just in case, a very large lettuce.
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