Tuesday, September 27, 2022

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A look at why Ole Gunnar Solksjaer is being ghosted in Suffolk

Image by Arbeiderpartiet under CC

Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is at an increasingly loose end nowadays after Manchester United sacked him in November, so much so, the stir-crazy sensation has driven the 48-year-old to even apply to become the next Metropolitan Police Chief after Cressida Dick stood down. As a devout Liverpool fan who has lived in London his whole life, London Mayor Sadiq Khan quickly dismissed his application which led the baby-faced assassin to quickly move on and apply for the head of the England men’s rugby team despite no vacancy actually being open.

It was reported that the Norwegian felt he could take to the sport quite easily after being an expert in what constitutes a rugby game, having accused Manchester United’s opponents of playing the robust sport against his team in August 2021. Carrying on, Solskjaer stated that he felt he could lead England to World Cup glory in 2023 where the side is at just 9/2 in the latest rugby union odds to go all the way in France.

When asked by bemused doorstepping journalists why he had applied for a job he knows nothing about and quite clearly hasn’t got the skills for, Solskjaer reminded those present that these same barriers didn’t stop him from getting the Manchester United job a few years back. The gathered press nodded along in complete agreement as Solskjaer quipped with a wink,  ‘a mere technicality’ before closing his Range Rover’s window and setting off for Ipswich.

In short, the 48-year-old had eventually decided to head to Suffolk because new Ipswich Town boss Kieran McKenna had blocked Solskjaer on all his social media channels. Going back for a minute, McKenna was obviously Solskjaer’s number two at Old Trafford during the time that the Norwegian was manager of the club, but left when Ralf Rangnick was appointed to take up the Ipswich managerial job

Now, when news got back to an incensed Solskjaer that his old mate had landed on his feet after the band at Old Trafford broke up, he immediately rang the Ipswich Town chairman and asked if the Tractor Boys would like Ole at the wheel instead. The club kindly informed him they were ok for glorified PE teachers as things stood before hanging up.

Nevertheless, ambitious chairman Mike O’Leary decided to pass on the contents of the conversation to McKenna who he felt should know about his old boss’s Game of Thrones type betrayal which led to the 48-year-old being blocked on all social media.

Naturally, after being ghosted for months by McKenna, the Norwegian decided to drive to Portman Road to patch things up but he only got as far as Norwich after deciding to pop his head in en route at the Carrow Road canteen to ask if they wanted him to manage the club. A shocked Delia Smith at the sight of the grinning Solskjaer in the doorway would go on to drop her signature pavlova onto Josh Sargent’s foot which ultimately ruled Norwich’s record transfer signing out for the rest of the season, condemning Norwich to certain relegation.

Following that, the last anybody saw of  Solskjaer was Dean Smith putting him in the boot of his car before heading off in the direction of the Norfolk Broads.

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