Crying Chancellor Reeves features on £20 note amid Starmer government collapse.

By Our Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks

WESTMINSTER, LONDON — Early drafts of a new £20 banknote featuring a visibly distraught Rachel Reeves have leaked from the Royal Mint.

The design, which depicts the Chancellor in a state of high-definition emotional collapse, reportedly commemorates the “Summer of Sobbing” in 2025, when Ms. Reeves was reduced to tears on the front bench during a particularly grueling Prime Minister’s Questions. While at the time the Treasury dismissed the incident as a “personal matter,” the Bank of England’s artistic committee apparently viewed it as the perfect symbol for the national economy: leaking, under pressure, and desperately needing a tissue.

Watermark

The timing of the “Bawling Banknote” is poignant. As of February 2026, Ms. Reeves finds herself on “thin ice” as the Starmer premiership enters what critics call its “terminal splintering phase.” The Prime Minister’s position is currently “hanging by a thread” following the Lord Peter Mandelson scandal, which has seen the veteran peer accused of “betraying his country” over historical links to Jeffrey Epstein.

With Sir Keir facing a “mutiny” from his own backbenchers, the Chancellor’s future in Number 11 appears equally precarious. “It’s a very intricate design,” noted one satirical currency expert. “The watermark is fashioned out of Reeves’ actual tears, which were retrieved from a tissue left by her on the green benches in the commons.” Another feature is a “Mandelson Hologram”: a shimmering image of the disgraced peer that vanishes the moment you ask for his vetting documents.

While Downing Street insists the Chancellor is “absolutely confident” she will remain in post, the Mint has reportedly ordered extra purple ink for the banknote’s “Red-Eyes” edition.