A Bury St Edmunds massage therapist has finally uncovered the shocking reason behind her struggling business—thanks to an unexpected visit from a convicted sex offender.

By Our Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred

Joan Brass, 35, opened her massage therapy business eight months ago in what she believed to be a prime shopping district. Yet, despite her best efforts, she had only managed to attract three customers in that time. “I tried everything—special offers, referral discounts, even free herbal tea—but nothing seemed to work,” Brass lamented.

That was until last week, when 62-year-old bricklayer Graham Bosch wandered into her establishment seeking a back massage. Bosch, convicted in 1985 for public indecency, was unusually enthusiastic about Brass’s services. When she casually inquired why he had chosen her parlour, his response left her reeling: “Well, the name ‘Massage The Rapist’ really caught my eye.”

Rubbed up the wrong way

A horrified Brass rushed outside to inspect her shopfront and was met with the horrifying realization that her sign—meant to read ‘Massage Therapist’—instead appeared to advertise something altogether different. A careless space between the letters ‘E’ and ‘R’ had transformed her noble profession into something far less marketable.

“I don’t know how I never noticed it before,” Brass admitted. “It explains a lot, really. The weird looks, the police patrols, the absolute lack of female clientele.”

Wasting no time, she ordered new signage and rebranded her business as ‘Brass Rubbing,’ hoping to move past the unfortunate mishap. “It’s been a rough few months,” she sighed. “But at least now I know my biggest obstacle wasn’t a lack of demand—just an appalling typographical error.”

Brass hopes that business will pick up after ordering new signage for her renamed business, ‘Brass Rubbing.’