BUNGAY, SUFFOLK – The quiet market town of Bungay, Suffolk, has been thrown into emotional and metaphysical disarray after it emerged that local woman Cheryl Moss’s trans husband, Kyle, is pregnant by her best mate’s Zumba instructor. The child is expected in October, or possibly “whenever Mercury exits retrograde,” according to sources close to the couple.
Entertainment Editor: Arthur Pint
Cheryl, 41, a former tanning technician turned Reiki entrepreneur, described the situation as “emotionally complex, but spiritually enriching.” Her husband Kyle, 38, who transitioned in 2020 and retained reproductive capabilities. He reportedly conceived during what was described as a “brief but vigorous moment of core-strength bonding”. With flamboyant fitness guru Brayden Chase—himself a one-time contestant on Suffolk’s Got Talent (he came third, narrowly beaten by a dog that danced to Meat Loaf).
Pickers knows nothing
The twist? Brayden is romantically linked to Leanne Pickers, Cheryl’s lifelong best friend and fellow spiritual medium. Who claims she was unaware of the Zumba adultery but “had sensed a shift in chakra alignment during that week’s Pilates.”
Local residents have reacted with a mix of bewilderment, support, and a sudden uptick in the sale of decaf herbal teas. “It’s like Jeremy Kyle crossed with The Archers,” said one neighbour, “but with more pronouns and hemp.”
The Moss-Chase-Pickers household is reportedly now working towards a co-parenting arrangement, involving shared custody, vegan baby food, and alternating weekends between Bungay and Brayden’s yurt in Woodbridge.
Cheryl insists there’s no animosity. “This isn’t a scandal,” she told BBC Look East. “It’s a modern miracle, and probably a decent screenplay.”
In unrelated news, Bungay Town Council has announced a new seminar series: Navigating 21st Century Relationships: From Swings to Surrogacy, to be held at the village hall, with free tea and interpretive dance.
Meanwhile: Infants eager for Trans Men breast feed
