Saturday, January 14, 2023

Tesco releases ‘all-year-round’ Xmas gifts range

Tesco releases ‘all-year-round’ Xmas gifts range
Tesco releases ‘all-year-round’ Xmas gifts range

Tesco has released its range of ‘all-year-round’ gift products – that last for 365 days a year!

Designed as an antidote to today’s environmentally friendly ‘reusable’ gifts, and aiming to provide value at the expense of longevity for friends, family, and loved ones, the volumous gifts are sure to make a lasting impression – on the lifespan of the planet.

The ‘one-a-day’ disposable Tesco Xmas gift range includes:-

‘Wear’n’chuck’ plain black socks

x 365 pairs (£36.50). Perfect for dad at Xmas as they are holy. Come in variety of cheese flavours.

Toothbrushes preloaded with toothpaste

x 365 (£36.50). Use once, gob out spit, and chuck. Made in Taiwan from harmful microplastics.

Vented plastic hairbrushes

x 365 (£36.50). Eliminates the problem of congealed hair-gather between the bristles. Use it once to groom and prim, then chuck it straight in the bin (not the recycling).

One-a-day door keys

x 365 (£36.50). Nickel-brass mixture. Don’t bother trying not to lose your keys. Just close the door behind you and sling the key in the bushes on your way out. Pick up another one from the box when you return home and let yourself in. NB Product materials will degrade after 1,000 years.

12 Piece Porcelain Dinner Set

x 365 (). Includes 4,380 dinner plates, side plates, and cereal bowls, all crafted from porcelain. Microwaveable safe for ease of use. NB DISHWASHER UNSAFE. Don’t bother washing. Just chuck ‘em out of the kitchen window or dump them in your neighbours’ front garden. Sorted.

See the full range at www.tescocheapshitkillingtheplanet.com/365daysayear

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