Londoners are once again sharpening their elbows and stiffening their upper lips, as Underground drivers have announced fresh strike action over pay and conditions.

By Our Railway Correspondent: Casey Jones

The strike, which union leaders insist is about “fair wages” but passengers suspect is about “extended tea breaks,” has already crippled much of the capital’s transport network. Trains that do run are so overcrowded that commuters report being able to “taste the aftershave” of three different strangers simultaneously.

“Every time I try to get to work, they’re on strike,” fumed office worker Louise Jenkins, interviewed outside a heaving Finsbury Park station. “At this point, I’m considering buying a horse. It would probably be faster – and smell better.”

London Tube Strike

Transport for London (TfL) has advised passengers to “consider alternative routes,” such as buses, bicycles, or simply giving up hope and moving to Milton Keynes. Meanwhile, Uber drivers are reporting record profits, with one rider charged £48 to travel the single stop between Oxford Circus and Tottenham Court Road.

Union officials defended the walkout. “We are fighting for decent pay, better conditions, and recognition that pushing a lever backwards and forwards in a tunnel is the backbone of civilisation,” said one representative, to muted applause from his members, most of whom had already gone home for a nap.

The Real Patience

City Hall has urged calm, but patience is in short supply. As one exhausted commuter put it: “I’ve spent so long waiting for a train at Bank station that I’m now technically a squatter.”

With negotiations stalled and tempers flaring, the strike seems set to drag on – proving once again that the only thing more reliable than a Tube delay is another London Tube strike.

Meanwhile: New Tube line will connect Ipswich to London