B&M, IPSWICH – In a daring retail gamble, renowned chocolate manufacturer Terry’s has unveiled its latest festive creation—the ‘chocolate orange ball bag’.
Priced at a mere £1, this cocoa and orange-infused masterpiece (chocolate orange ball bag) is poised.to fill the stockings of chocolate lovers across the UK this Christmas season. Blending the decadence of chocolate with the aroma of Santa’s sack – and we don’t mean the one on his sleigh.
Has he been yet?
Taking inspiration from none other than Santa Claus himself. The chocolate orange ball bag is crafted in the likeness of one of the iconic man’s ball sacks. Because who wouldn’t want to put a large brown chocolate bollock in your mouth on Christmas morning|?
For just a quid, consumers can indulge in the unique confection. After first splitting, open the ball bag to separate the segments, of course. With a regular chocolate orange, this is usually done by giving it a firm whack on a kitchen counter. However, Terry’s recommends that to open Santa’s chocolate gonad, a firm kick across the room should do the trick.
Hitler had one
While some food commentators see the ball bag as a daring and provocative approach to seasonal retailing. Critics argue that Terry’s has crossed the line between festive cheer and common decency.
Local resident and retired army Major, Brian Panhandle-Smythe DSO CIE. Chair of the Ipswich chapter of do-gooding campaign group.
Residents Against Everything (RAGE) said “Santa’s WHAAAAAT? OUTRAGEOUS! I didn’t attack German positions on the Lofoten Islands in Norway during WWII. Just so that in 2023 foreign invaders could lounge around on Christmas morning licking SANTA’S BALL BAAAAAAAAGS!!!! WHAAAAT? Personally, I prefer a mouthful of nuts. Now GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!”
Chocolate orange ball bag availability
As the chocolate orange ball bag begins to fly off supermarket shelves. It remains to be seen whether it will replace the good old chocolate orange as the No.1 most popular Xmas chocolate gift, or simply sag like the scrotum it was modelled on.