Virgin on the ridiculous

By Casey Jones
Railway Correspondent

Britain’s most polite mainline train service is to open a new line from Glasgow straight to the heart of Suffolk – just to prove how nice they are.

The much-criticised firm will run a thrice-weekly service from Scotland’s West Coast via Liverpool, Manchester, Leeds and Birmingham before crossing England to Ipswich.

Said to be frequently overcrowded, late and lacking decent catering, Virgin West Coast bosses say they can teach East Anglians “a thing or two about how to endure alleged p*ss-poor services without moaning about it constantly”.

A Virgin spokesman confirmed the plan was on the table but added a focus-group feasibility study was being conducted among its usual clientele before a final decision was made.

The service is scheduled to cost around £783.22 return off peak for a weekend ‘East Angular Traveller’ ticket.

New rolling stock will be added to the service by 2034, said Virgin.

Virgin trains heading to Suffolk

One passenger, originally from Stowmarket, on a recent Virgin service from Manchester to London Euston, observed: “The 2.5 hour journey was late, rammed to the bulkheads, had run out of beer before we passed Macclesfield and there were no staff to be seen.

“But four hours later I was chatting to a charming family from Manchester who were squatting in the first-class cycle racks.

“The atmosphere was amazing, even when the lights went out at Milton Keynes. I can’t wait for the Suffolk service – it’s a party all the way.”

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One Response

  1. Willie Sellem May 2, 2015

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