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Orville gets new job as Norwich mascot

By Suffolk Gazette Staff

An unemployed green duck has been hired by Norwich City owner Delia Smith to be the club’s new mascot.

Orville lost his job as an annoying, high-pitched duck when his boss, television entertainer Keith Harris died from cancer last week.

But while many thought that was the last they’d seen of the nappy-wearing green bird, Smith has amazed football by offering him a key role at Carrow Road.

Let’s be ‘aving you: Delia Smith has hired Orville
Smith reasoned Orville, who has ridiculous green feathers, would fit in perfectly at Norwich, a club which plays in a hideous green and yellow strip.

Orville will now parade around the pitch singing ‘I Believe I Can Fly’, just as Norwich prepare for a key two-legged play-off semi-final against East Anglian rivals Ipswich Town.

His appointment means an undignified end for ex-Norwich mascot Captain Canary, who will now spend his retirement years at a Cromer bird sanctuary.

Sacked: Captain Canary
Ipswich fans last night said Orville’s appointment was typical of bungling Norwich. One said: “Delia Smith made a cookery career of sticking her hand up birds’ backsides to stuff them, so it’s no surprise she has got herself a ventriloquist duck.

“It’s quackers. But when Ipswich beat Norwich in the play-offs, she can always cook the bloody thing.”

Meanwhile, Orville’s former sidekick, Cuddles the monkey, has not been offered any work since Harris died, aged 67.

“I hate that effing duck,” Cuddles told the Suffolk Gazette last night.

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