Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Anyone earning less than £50k will get a ‘Pay Rise’ says: Martin Lewis

Anyone earning less than £50k will get a 'Pay Rise' says: Martin Lewis
Anyone earning less than £50k will get a ‘Pay Rise’ says: Martin Lewis

Martin Lewis, the economic know-it-all who loves money more than any other substance on Earth, has revealed that there is ‘positive news’ in the government’s recent mini-budget for households earning roughly £50,000 or less.

Brain Sale

The financial journalist who sold part of his brain to Moneysupermarket.com group for a reported £87m in 2012, and who has a personal fortune estimated at £123m, said that average workers will likely gain… wait for it… £170… next year.

£170. Next year.

Uber-rich financial journalist, Lewis, who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing, allegedly said this with a straight face.

Average Journalist VS Martin Lewis

With the cost of living crisis biting harder and more deeply into the pockets of the ‘average’ put-upon Brit, one might think £170 a little on the low side? Especially (as Lewis takes delight in reminding us) we’re already ‘earning £50,000 or less’, ‘less’ being the operative word. This average journalist says “Try £20,000 or less, Martin!”

We asked our average readers to tell us what they will be spending their ‘good news’ £170 windfall on next year.

Briony Phillips from Wherstead told us “I’ll be putting the money towards food, blankets and medicine for my family and Aleksander, the Ukranian refugee we took in 4 months ago. We thought he’s be gone by now but, nope. I estimate that the…how much did you say? £170? I estimate that will last about a day.”

Kelvin Smith from Henley near Ipswich replied “For my family of six, that’s two week’s shop plus the petrol to get there and back. So basically, we can eat for two weeks. Not exactly good news is it? I mean, I’m not going to get the bunting out.”

Welsh Recommendations

Our economic expert, Trevor Griffiths calculated what else could be bought for £170 ‘next year’ when prices are likely to be double what they are now. Here are his top 5 recommendations:

  • Pay off the interest on your six credit cards for one month.
  • Ten minutes driving around the City of London in a black cab looking for a vacant doorway to sleep in.
  • A one-way flight to Tehran to sell a kidney.
  • Full set of upper and lower false teeth for a pet cat or dog.
  • Enough booze, drugs, fags, and candles for one last afternoon of misery on planet Earth.

Next week! Martin Lewis selects his favourite, value-for-money Ferraris and Faberge eggs.

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