Friday, July 12, 2024

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Man Flu counsellors open Suffolk clinic

Man Flu

By Phil Ward, Health Correspondent

Have you had Man Flu or do you fear being struck down by this terrifying disease? Help is at hand at a new counselling and therapy clinic in Suffolk.

“We’ve only been open a few days and we’ve already had full sessions. But clients can put their name on the list and we will try to fit them in,” said Dr Ivor Coff.

“We have had men who keep getting flashbacks to their flu days, some keep ‘seeing’ snot all over the TV remote and all over the sofa, others recall the day they ran out of mansize tissues, others have never actually had the illness but fear it so much they can’t function.

“Many victims have told us their relationships were ruined by Man Flu, with their wives or girlfriends thinking they were over-acting as they writhed on the floor or got tangled in the bed sheets as they howled in pain.

“We can support and offer self-help therapies for those who have Borderline Man-Flu – or those with Lemsip addiction,” said Dr Coff at the Norwich Road clinic, where our reporter saw weak, huddled victims rocking back and forth as they moaned in agony.

“We urge men not to come to the clinic if they are in full flow of Man-Flu as we need to protect those in the recovery stage. Anyone wishing to make donations or attend can go this our special Man-Flu Research Fund page.”

However, some women in the area are not quite so sure about the Man Flu clinic. One furious wife said: “They complain they have flu, but it’s a tissue of lies. Us ladies wouldn’t even class it as a cold.”

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