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Dragon Man species found living in Norfolk

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Dragon Man species found living in Norfolk
Dragon Man
Dragon Man in Downham Market yesterday

Chinese researchers have found a new tribe of human species called Dragon Man – alive and well in Norfolk.

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

They say the Dragon Man is our closest relative, more so than the Neanderthals who live in the rest of Norfolk, but especially around Norwich.

Bubba Spuckler

Professor Lorraine Fisher, 34, of Suffolk University’s natural history department, said: “What you have here is a seperate branch of humanity that is not on its way to being Homo Sapiens like us.

“Instead the Norfolk Dragon Man species is a long-separate lineage that evolved in the county for several hundred thousand years.”

People from Suffolk accidentally straying into previously unexplored parts of Norfolk have often claimed to have spotted Dragon Man.

The Suffolk Gazette tracked down tribe leader Bubba Spuckler, who lives in a hovel in Downham Market with his sister and their five children.

His skull is huge, but not because it contains a large brain. Far from it. Norfolk. He has very low intelligence. He has almost square eye sockets and thick brow ridge, a wide mouth and oversized teeth.

Spuckler refused to be interviewed, possibly because all he can do is grunt.

Quick-thinking Suffolk MP saves aide’s life with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation

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Quick-thinking Suffolk MP saves aide’s life with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation
Heroic Matt Hancock seen saving aide’s life (Photos: The Sun)

West Suffolk MP Matt Hancock has heroically saved the life of his close aide with mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Security cameras in the Health Secretary’s office caught the dramatic moment when Mr Hancock saw Gina Coladangelo close to collapse.

But his fast action, gleaned from years shadowing medics in his Cabinet role, prevented the situation from turning to tragedy.

In a statement read out over the garden gate alongside his wife, Mr Hancock said: “On Wednesday evening, after another difficult day battling the COVID epidemic on behalf of the nation, I returned to my office to relax.

“My colleague Gina was with me to discuss affairs of state, when she suddenly took a funny turn.

“Quite clearly close to collapse, I quickly grabbed her and gave mouth-to-mouth-resuscitation while leaning against my office door to protect the poor woman’s dignity.

“As far as I am concerned, that is the end of the matter.”

Mr Hancock has been MP for West Suffolk since 2010.

He is bound to get even more support from the public now it is known he is a life-saver.

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Unesco lines up Lowestoft for World Heritage status

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Unesco lines up Lowestoft for World Heritage status
Lowestoft town centre
Lowestoft town centre, a place to behold (Photo: Google StreetView)

Unesco say Lowestoft could get World Heritage status if Liverpool loses the accolade next month.

A report by the World Heritage Committee identifies the Suffolk resort as a worthy contender, thanks to its extraordinary architecture and history.

With Liverpool set to lose out because new developments had caused “serious deterioration and irreversible loss of attributes”, Lowestoft’s old ways are much admired.

Kiss-me-quick style holidays, a nearby Pontins, and not one but two piers, combined with a proud fishing industry, make Lowestoft the ideal place for World Heritage status.

It is also the most easterly point in Britain, although suspiciously close to Norfolk.

Lowestoft pier
Architectural treasures abound

Lowestoft tourism boss Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Lowestoft is rich in culture, architecture and international intrigue.

“Frankly, we’re not surprised we might get World Heritage status.”

The Unesco World Heritage Committee meets next month to make its final decision.

The pretty Suffolk town of Haverhill, which has been a favourite cultural destination for nearly 1,000 years, is also in the running, but Lowestoft has the edge thanks to its association with herrings.

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The biggest football sponsorship deals in the UK

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The biggest football sponsorship deals in the UK

Football is big business around the world, but especially in the United Kingdom, which is the self-proclaimed ‘home of football’.

While thousands of fans may pack stadiums on a weekly basis to watch the likes of Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City and so on, the passion for the sport can be seen in the attendances at lower levels – the Championship has the highest average attendance of any second-tier league in the world, and in fact, it is far ahead of many top-flight leagues, while you will find thousands of fans at matches further down the pyramid as well.

This passion for the sport translates into financial value as well, with sponsorship deals for the top teams running into the hundreds of millions of pounds annually. Thus, it is quite interesting to take a look at some of the biggest sponsorship deals in English football to understand just how lucrative the sport is in the country.

Chevrolet – Manchester United

Chevrolet, the American car maker, signed a deal with Manchester United in 2014 to appear on the front of its shirts for a whopping £64 million per year – and at a total value of £371 million, this has been one of the biggest shirt sponsorship deals in world football, let alone the UK. The deal has ended this year, with United embarking on a new partnership with TeamViewer, which will pay them £47 million per season for five seasons – this is a drop of more than 25%, but is understandable given the backdrop of the COVID-19 crisis and its financial impact.

Betway – West Ham United

This is one of the most interesting deals since it involves a betting company. Betway’s shirt sponsorship deal with West Ham is rumoured to be around £10 million per year since 2015, making it one of the most valuable sponsorship deals involving a betting company.

bet365 – Stoke City

Another deal between a football club and a betting company, this one is arguably even more impressive, since not only does bet365 appear on the front of Stoke City’s shirts, they also have the naming rights to the stadium. Thus, Stoke City’s stadium has been known as the bet365 Stadium since 2016, and you can actually find a number of similar betting options and more information at https://www.platincasino.co.uk.

Emirates – Arsenal

The Dubai-based Emirates Airlines, which is the flag carrier of the United Arab Emirates, has been one of Arsenal’s principal’s sponsors for years now, appearing on the front of their shirts as well as having the new stadium named after them. This is a partnership since 2006, and Arsenal reportedly earn €31 million per season from this deal.

Etihad – Manchester City

Another partnership between a UAE-based airline and an English club, this deal earns Manchester City nearly €46 million per year, with the stadium being known as the Etihad Stadium as well, along with the company name appearing on the front of City’s shirts. Of course, City are owned by the Abu Dhabi royal family, so this partnership makes a lot of sense, with Etihad also based out of Abu Dhabi.

Dinosaur footprints uncovered in Suffolk village

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Dinosaur footprints uncovered in Suffolk village

The recent wet weather has unearthed extraordinary dinosaur footprints in Boxford, it has emerged.

Experts say the find is the best example of footprints belong to the rare potholasuarus species since 1976.

They have already marked out the series of Dinosaur footprints with yellow paint so that people know where to look.

Paleontologist Dr Lorraine Fisher, 34, from the University of Suffolk, was excited about the find. She said: “We believe a combination of recent frosts and heavy rainfall has unearthed them.

“They must have been lurking out of sight for hundreds of millions of years.”

Dinosaur prints in Boxford
Dinosaur prints on Boxford road (Photo: Suffolk Gazette reader Mike Hammond)

She noted the haphazard nature of the prints, suggesting the potholasaurus had an unnatural gait.

“These beasts were harmless herbivores but they did gorge on the fruits grown in the Boxford area. At certain times of year, the fruits fermented and the alcohol made the dinosaurs walk oddly.”

Dinosaur footprints will be transferred to Ipswich Museum once studies on site are complete.

But members of the Dinosaurs Uncovered in Norfolk Group (DUNG) claimed the find was not as rare as Dr Fisher says.

Chairman Bubba Spuckler, who regularly cycles around the county, is sure he has spotted similar Dinosaur footprints on just about every road.

“These Boxford prints are a nice example,” he explained. “We believe they come from the Councilcutsic period.”

Best tips for entertaining the kids on a budget

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Best tips for entertaining the kids on a budget

There are a lot of ways to entertain the kids, and not all of them will cost you the earth or require you to take out a second mortgage on your property. There are, of course, financial benefits and grants available for those who may need them.

Most kids with a little encouragement will quite happily entertain themselves. We have all been there, buying that perfect and far from cheap present and then sitting back whilst your little bundle of enthusiasm spends hours playing with the empty box, and yet the expensive contents are just left to the side.

If you are feeling a little bit stuck for ideas or just want some inspiration, here are three things that may get you thinking along other lines.

Bug hunts

Gardens aren’t just for growing potatoes, but whether you have any outdoor space to your home or not, there are always bug hunts to go.

These are fun and educational, as you can look up any little bug found on the internet and give some background to what the little creature is that you have found as well as its natural habitat etc. Bugs are everywhere and not just at the end of the garden or in the countryside, and you will be amazed at the different types and what benefit they have to the food chain or environment.

There is also the added bonus of being able to get your kids to make a bug hotel. These can be quite elaborate, and even if you do not want one in your outdoor space, a grandparent may appreciate one for theirs.

Picnics

Picnics are always a welcome treat, especially if they are enjoyed with friends or family. You do not even have to go far. Some of the best picnics can be had in your own garden or if the weather is bad on a picnic blanket in your front room.

Letting your kids decide what it is they are going to have for their picnics is one of the most important parts, and if you can get them to actually make or assemble their own food gives even more enjoyment to the kids.

Storytime

Going somewhere like a forest, beach, or somewhere of interest like a fort or ruin and storytelling can be a really enjoyable treat for the kids. The amount of input from you depends massively on how old your kids are. For the young, you will probably have to do all the storytelling, but for infant school kids upwards, once you have given them an idea, they will be able to run with it and create their own stories together, as this article in The Psychologist shows, stories are essential to cognitive growth.  

Tell stories about minibeasts living in the area you are walking through, or dragons hiding amongst the trees, or fairies flitting from flower to flower. It can be really interesting hearing where their minds are taking them.

Russia unveils Olympic women weightlifter

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Russia unveils Olympic women weightlifter
Russian female weightlifter Lorraina Fischev, 34

Russia has confirmed female weightlifter Lorraina Fischev, 34, will represent the country at the Olympics this year.

Fischev, pictured above, has spent many years training in the gym and she is expected to lift more than twice the previous Olympic record.

Russian Olympic team head Dmitri Popov said Fischev was head and shoulders above all other Russian female weightlifters.

“We hear New Zealand has got a strong line-up this year.

“Well, let me tell you, they have a shock coming to them.

“Lorraina can lift more than most other men, let alone women.”

Extra attention has been thrown on to this year’s women’s Olympic weightlifting category, and Russia’s selection may well raise more eyebrows.

UK Olympic ambassador Steve Walshe said: “There’s something not quite right about this.”

Fischev is one of 23 Russians allowed to compete at the Olympics as “neutral athletes” owing to previous doping scandals.

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First person to mention the nights are drawing in is a prat, Britain agrees

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First person to mention the nights are drawing in is a prat, Britain agrees
First person to mention the nights are drawing in is a prat, Britain agrees
Gloomy outlook

The first person tomorrow to mention that the days are getting shorter is a complete numpty, Britain agrees.

Before we’ve even had anything resembling a summer, no one wants to be reminded we’re on the slippery slope to winter.

Office worker Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “It’s the same every year – as soon as the Summer Solstice is over, some prat in accounts makes the same smug remark about the nights drawing in.

“Well, this year, we can all agree to tell him to stick his calendar remarks where the sun don’t shine.

“Which is a bit ironic, really.”

Nights drawing in

But a weather person added: “What is more ironic is that, while indeed the days will now be getting shorter, we’re hoping for a warmer spell of weather soon.

“No doubt that prat in accounts will then be moaning about it being too hot.”

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