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Managers consider donning boots due to player shortages

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Following Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s explosive rant at football administrators over poorly scheduled fixtures, the ex-player, along with his Liverpool and Manchester City counterparts – Jurgen Klopp and Pep Guardiola – are now strongly considering stepping in to fill in as their squads’ knees buckle under the pressure of injuries and packed match fixtures.

After a critical 3-1 win over Everton at Goodison Park, a victory which may have saved Ole’s job, the subject was at the core of the manager’s comments after the midday Saturday fixture. He might have had a point.

Manchester United hats

Encore for Ole?

Solskjaer and the United team were aboard a plane flying back from a disappointing Champions League appearance in their visit to Istanbul.

Allegedly only touching down on English soil at around 4 a.m on Thursday morning, the squad had about a day and a half to prepare for their next game. Injuries are starting to pile up and so the decision for the managers, despite all being in the forties and fifties, to take to the field once again might be the only option left to some of these sides.

Liverpool are currently in dire straits, having already had to find solutions to a number of major injuries to key players including Virgil van Dijk, Thiago Alcantara, Fabinho and Trent Alexander-Arnold. Van Dijk’s, a result of a poorly-timed challenge from Everton keeper Pickford marked the start of a bizarre run of injuries, now leaving Liverpool with one fit senior centre-back.

Solskjaer explained in a recent interview: “We have to find solutions because it’s so tough this year. This intensity is really difficult. We get it, we want to play football 100 per cent with all we have – we need to play football, it’s great for the people, it’s great for us, everything is fine. But [playing on] Wednesday night and 12:30 [Saturday] should not be allowed.”

Klopp played in a variety of positions as a player and at an impressive 6’3, he could prove handy meeting corners and physically dominating smaller attackers. If his imposing frame doesn’t do the trick, his startling, blindingly white teeth could also be used as a distraction technique.

Klopp could play in front of the Kop at Anfield

Return of the king

Meanwhile, over in the Etihad Stadium, manager Pep Guardiola, once a technical defensive midfielder, may be forced to also step in to offer some composure in his midfield diamond if the pressure of numerous fixtures in the week, plus international fixtures, start to take their toll. The Spaniard is a strong supporter of introducing five substitutes over three, to better protect his players. 

Currently, the three sides are all strong contenders for the title, despite the expanding injury lists. According to the latest football betting odds, Man City are currently the 6/4 favourites to defend their Premier League title, with Liverpool second at 13/8. Chelsea, after a strong run of form, are now 8/1 winners. That said, those odds can widen when the starting line-up starts to suffer. 

All three managers are reportedly very excited to rejoin the players on the field, with the expectation that they will also take captain’s armband and all set pieces for the foreseeable future.

It’s unclear if the scheduling issues will be remediated given the criticism angled at the current situation, but for now, football fans may have to make do with a lot of football in a short space of time, a lot of injuries and possible sightings of Klopp, Guardiola and Solskjaer in full-kit for the foreseeable future.

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Butcher’s dog tells Boris Johnson: you are NOT as fit as me

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Butchers dog
Steve the butcher’s dog enjoying another bone

A butcher’s dog has angrily told Boris Johnson to stop claiming he is as fit as him.

Jack Russell Steve Walshe, four, said while he is a super-fit dog, the Prime Minister is an overweight buffoon who couldn’t run 100 yards without breaking into a sweat.

Mr Johnson is self-isolating after being exposed to coronavirus again – but claimed he was feeling “as fit as a butcher’s dog”.

“To be honest,” said Steve while munching on a bone, “that bloke is like a tub of lard.

“Look at him – he’s the most unfit specimen you are likely to see today.

“He’s also had COVID and now has to hide away because he’s gone and exposed himself to it for a second time.

“It’s no good him currying favour with you lot by saying he’s as fit as a butcher’s dog.

“It gives us a bad name. I don’t spend my days munching on the choicest cuts of meat and bones tossed at me from the back of the shop for nothing.

“It gives me a lean, powerful figure. I can run for miles; I won’t ever stop. Don’t let overweight, pale-faced men like the Prime Minister fool you into thinking he is like me.”

Owner and butcher’s wife Lorraine Fisher, 34, speaking from the Galloping Gammon butcher’s shop in Ipswich said: “Steve gets quite defensive when the Prime Minister claims to be as fit as him.

“Then again, he thinks the whole Cabinet is barking.”

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How to fund your startup

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Woman at computer

If you want to start your own company, you might be concerned about how you’ll pay for it. Unfortunately, no one is waiting for the perfect moment to give you funds, even if your idea is great.

The good news is that you have options for funding a new company. There are often more options than if you were purchasing a home or car, so do your research before choosing one.

Research student loan deferment

Many college graduates have a nearly crippling level of debt from student loans. If that applies to you, you might feel turned off by the idea of investing in a startup as well.

And if you have a consistent source of income, you may dislike the idea of switching your career at some point for a startup. Your debt doesn’t have to stop you from living your dream. Consider researching student loan deferment to see if you qualify.

Deferments allow you to avoid making payments for a certain amount of time. With certain types of deferments, your loan’s interest won’t accrue. You can then put the money that you would have paid toward the loan toward your company instead.

Small business grants

Some organisations offer small business grants for companies that meet specific criteria. For example, grants might go to minority, veteran, or women-run companies.

Consider contacting the local Small Business Administration chapter to find out whether you are eligible to apply for grant money. Just make sure that this won’t have to be paid back later. Other times, funds can come with strings attached, so ensure you are aware of them. You should know what you might have to do later before you decide whether to accept the grant. That way, you won’t have an unpleasant surprise later.

Don’t quit your job

No one likes to hear this suggestion, but it is one of the most critical. If your current job meets your needs and allows you to put some money aside, keep that job while starting your business.

It takes a while to get a business off the ground, and the first years are among some of the most difficult. Keep your job so you can continue to pay the bills during this time. While you may not like this suggestion, keeping your current job prevents you from having to make as many compromises during the building phase. You can stay true to the original vision for the business. Plus, you will not feel the need to succumb to pressure financially.

If you keep your current job, you might also get experience that will help you keep your startup going later. Of course, if you only run the startup on the side, you might miss out on opportunities. Plus, you will not have as much free time, and there might not be enough hours in the day to get your company off the ground. However, if you are looking for an option that offers financial security, this might be for you.

5 successful ways to beat the bookie’s prop bets on the Super Bowl

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The NFL is one of the wealthiest American sports leagues that feature massive betting games. Every year, it brings many surprises to the fans by highlighting the field’s best players and teams. Not only that, but they partner with many trusted sportsbooks to provide the best price-guaranteed wagering games it carries.

One of the most played betting games in the NFL is proposition bets. Commonly known as “props”, this betting category gives you the power to become a fortune-teller. Unlike the points spread, money lines, and totals, where numbers are your best friend, the prop bets needs the right prediction to the proposition set by the bookies before the match begins.

Hence, it does not require you to analyse the values and lines set by the bookie. Although it can help, your predictions are solely based on the skills of the team of players. Thus, if you visit this page on the FanDuel website and other trusted sportsbooks to fulfill your Proposition betting games, here are ways to ace the bookie and win tremendously.

Find props that are easy to interpret

Strong analytical skills are needed to win at prop bets. Many punters are skipping this kind of NFL betting because guessing equates to losing more money. While it’s true that there is a lower chance to grow your bankroll when you bet on predictions, there is a great profit that awaits when you simply choose prop bets that are easy to analyse.

You don’t have to bet every prop bet that’s offered by every bookie. All you have to do is find a proposition where you think your prediction is the real outcome. With this, you can ensure that you are gambling for the right entry. For example, betting Mahomes to win the Super Bowl MVP is more relevant than other QBs in the league.

Choose the exact term and category

NFL prop bets make vague terms that are sometimes difficult to understand. So, when you opt to gamble for this category, make sure to familiarise terms like touchdowns, yardage, passing yards, fumbles, sacks, interceptions, etc. Others are terms proposing who could be the MVP or  Rookie of the Year.

Apart from that, propositions are also categorised by team or player. That said, do not mix and match your props. When you wager for the team props, put everything in one place. On the other hand, if you would like to predict the players’ propositions, you must also do it in another place to avoid confusion.

Get away with the statistics

For punters who are betting other categories apart from prop bets, statistics will surely help. But, when it comes to wagering your predictions, numbers should not affect your decision because it should be based on the current match. Some bettors would likely look back at how each player started the season to bet for props, but it does not bear weight in reality.

It can be relevant somehow, but coming up with a prediction for a proposed bet is purely situational. It depends on what type of match is going on and who the current players perform inside the field. Also, your predictions might be influenced if you find two heavy favourites jousting or an underdog coming after a more hyped team.

Find the best lines

You have to apply the same idea when you gamble for the points spread, totals, and money lines. Bookies have different marketing strategies to entice every punter in utilising this site. Some are offering big bonuses, while others are making unique promotions. With this, you should shop for the best lines to land a higher payout.

Finding the best lines when betting for the prop bets is also comparing how the proposition looks. You must also balance the value you will earn as to whom pays you better when you hit the bullseye. By doing such, you are sure that you’ll get the best deal and are making the most out of your money.

Keep the good strategies within yourself

There is a greater opportunity to earn more in prop bets as long as you know how to ace the bookie. Once you find a good technique in beating their lines, try to keep these techniques within yourself. Aside from the bookie, other punters do their best to know what you are doing and why you win too much.

Building practical betting ideas and sharing them is not bad, but you don’t have to tell everyone. These are benefits of your sweat and hard work so take advantage of it while it’s still useful.

Takeaway

Prop Bets might not be tempting like the spread, but it’s a good wager to consider. For a punter who does not want to deal with numbers and statistics, props are the best football betting game to play. If you dream of sufficing a fruitful bankroll through prop bets, the tips above can significantly help.

Larry the Cat goes missing from Downing Street

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What or whom was inside Dominic Cummings's cardboard box? (Photo: ITV News)
What or who was inside Dominic Cummings’s cardboard box? (Photo: ITV News)

Police have launched an inquiry after Larry the cat mysteriously disappeared from Downing Street.

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

Adorable Larry, who has become a global star, was last seen moments before Dominic Cummings left his post in Downing Street, clutching a large box.

There are serious concerns about what Boris Johnson’s fallen chief adviser had in the box.

While some aides feared it contained secrets and damning evidence of a Government in crisis, but police now believed all it had in it was Larry.

Inspector Lorraine Fisher, 34, of Westminster Police said: “It’s a cat-sized box, after all. We have been told Mr Cummings may have cat-napped Larry and will now hold the country to ransom from a secret lair. In Durham.”

Police are now scouring the land for Larry the cat, who people wish was the Prime Minister.

A pal of Mr Cummings insisted the box contents were simply some Specsavers glasses and his Phil Collins CD collection.

*Hat tip (or is it cat tip?) to Alastair Stewart on Twitter for the inspiration!

Dominic Cummings quits to become CEO of Specsavers

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Cummings announces his Specsavers deal
Cummings announces his Specsavers deal (Photo: BBC)

Boris Johnson’s key adviser, Dominic Cummings has quit Downing Street to take over as CEO of eyesight retail giant Specsavers.

Mr Cummings drove 25 miles for his final interview this week and was given the all-clear to run the multi-million-pound empire.

He accepted the offer, but only after turning down a role with Land Rover, where he planned to promote a new model that lets you drive from London to Durham and back again without having to stop for fuel.

It is believed Mr Cummings will leave Downing Street by Christmas and take up his new position in the New Year. He will make ends meet in the meantime with his energetic Phil Collins tribute act.

Dominic Cummings Specsavers

Political commentator Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “This is a big blow to Boris Johnson, but great news for Specsavers.

“It ensures they now have a friendly face at the top of the company and staff can’t wait for him to start.”

Mr Cummings’ first task is to create a new advertising slogan. Insiders say he has already decided: “Should’ve gone to Barnard Castle” has a nice ring to it.

He was seen later today walking out of Number 10 with a cardboard box, which did not seem big enough for all the skeletons he kept buried there.

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Man who paid £35,000 for a camper van now realises he must shit in a bucket

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shit in a camper van

‘Free spirit’ middle-aged man Steve Walshe forked out £35,000 on a cool camper van only to find out he now has to shit in a bucket.

Steve, 45, from Woodbridge in Suffolk, had long yearned for the freedom of the road, going wherever he and his partner pleased for exciting long trips or weekends away.

But after spending his life savings on a converted VW van with a fold-down bed, kitchen equipment for a midget and a table big enough for a cup and saucer, he realised there was no lavatorial equipment on board.

His furious partner, the fragrant Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “You’re not telling me I have to shit in a bucket.

“And I’m not going outside into the woods in middle of the night to dig a hole and squat like a cat.

“Steve said this would be the ideal way to rekindle our youth, but I don’t think he has thought it through.”

Lorraine said she would only agree to park up and camp within ten miles of their home, so that if she felt the need, she could get back and use the loo.

“I suspect it won’t be long before the van begins sitting on the drive for longer periods at a time before being sold off for a £10,000 loss.

“Steve is an idiot.”

Joe Biden to make Barack Obama ambassador to Norfolk

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Barack Obama getting his first look at Norfolk
Barack Obama getting his first look at Norfolk (Photo: Joe Biden)

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

US President-elect Joe Biden shows he’s not afraid of tackling major world problems – by appointing Barack Obama as ambassador to Norfolk.

Mr Biden will move the popular former President to an official residence in Downham Market, tasked with making the unruly UK county safe.

The US has key military airbase interests in Norfolk, and Mr Biden needs Mr Obama to cajole the locals out of the dark ages.

Washington political commentator Lorraine Fisher, 34, said US bases in East Anglia were critical to the US’ wider military influence and standing as a geopolitical force.

“Unfortunately, while the bases are in a superb strategic position, they are in Norfolk. Locals are backward and lawless, and there is no better man than Barack Obama to win them over and protect our interests.”

News broke earlier this week that Mr Obama was being lined up to be an ambassador in London.

But while some speculated it would instead be ambassador to the EU, we can reveal his appointment is really ambassador to Norfolk.

One early problem will be finding an official residence in Downham Market, where most properties are hovels with straw on the floors.