Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Lady C joins Suffolk Gazette as Diplomatic Editor

By The Editor

The Suffolk Gazette has snapped up hot-headed I’m A Celebrity star Lady C to be its new Diplomatic Editor.

Lady Colin Campbell, who astonished viewers of the hit ITV show with her vicious tongue, is the perfect fit for this newspaper as it seeks to build bridges with readers from Norfolk.

She will be in charge of selecting news stories featuring six-fingered nice folk north of the Suffolk border, and will personally ensure no harsh words are said and that the peace is kept at all times.

In the Australian jungle she spent days cutting Spandau Ballet singer Tony Hadley and business tycoon Duncan Bannatyne to shreds, seemingly able to create an argument out of nothing.

She described former Dragons Den star Bannatyne as a “vain old goat” and “poverty-stricken compared to what I’m used to”, while Hadley was called a “chippy oik with the brains of a pea and the mouth of diarrhoea”, a “pretentious buffoon”, “fat slob”, and a “blasted liar and a creep”.

In fact her only friends in the camp, before she walked out on “medical grounds” earlier today, were boxing champ Chris Eubank and former Ipswich and England footballer Kieron Dyer.

Lady Colin Campbell
Tossers, tossers, the whole bunch of you: Lady C says hello

It was her relationship with Dyer, who was born in Ipswich before playing for the club in a glittering start to his career, which sealed the deal with the Suffolk Gazette.

A pal of Lady C said she enjoyed his Ipswich stories in the jungle so much that she had no hesitation in joining the Suffolk Gazette as its Diplomatic Editor.

“She is well aware of the deep divisions, hatred, mistrust and potentially downright dangerous flashpoints between the people of Norfolk and Suffolk.

“Her new role is a vital one in keeping the peace, and her record in the jungle shows she does not have a diplomatic bone in her body and will be absolutely useless at it.”

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