Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Fibre broadband bringing dismay to Suffolk residents

After decades of waiting, fibre internet has finally started its march of domination through the county of Suffolk. Not all is breezy, however, as locals have voiced major concerns over the excessive quantity of data being siphoned into their homes.  

Fibre internet refers to the latest broadband technology. Using fibre optic cables, transmission rates are vastly improved over traditional methods.

London Underground” (CC BY-SA 2.0) by fabbio

In some cases, such as downloading a film like Shrek The Third or Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, this can cut download speeds from around 24 minutes to about 8 seconds.

In some regards, users might not experience any real change in their online performance. This is especially true with smaller and lighter cases of entertainment and access such as general webpages and online casino games. These games are already small, so around a second of loading a game of slot, roulette, or a new betting page will usually only see minimal differences.

So from where come the complaints?

Ipswich erotica enthusiast Harry Long, 87, expressed his unease over issues relating to his pre-existing heart conditions.

“Back when the computer made the phone noise things was better,” Long opined. “Used to be I could savour a picture, line by line. Today it’s all video, and it’s there as soon as I click. It’s shocking; some things aren’t meant for high-definition.”

Long isn’t the only one having ‘problems’ with internet speeds, as others have had similar issues with improvements in connectivity.

Mary Grunt of Newmarket, 65, expressed frustration at her lack of possible excuses.

“Sometimes it’s lovely. I’ve five boys, all out of school and all of working age. I love them all, but I only like four of them.” Grunt explained. “With my old internet, I could pretend it was cutting out when James called, today I actually have to talk to him. It’s turned my life into a waking nightmare.”

Our final interview was conducted with Steven S. Stevenson, outside of the Lowestoft courthouse.

“I’m getting done in for piracy, but it ain’t my fault.” Complained the 23-year old. “I used to have to pick the things I share. Today, I just download everything I see.”

“That just means you pirated more, you ****** tw*t.” Added a bystander.

This interview had to be cut short as the two began to fight on the courthouse steps.

So far, dozens of new connections are added to the Suffolk fibre network each week, and the local government seems to be nothing if not encouraging the shift.

Investing millions of dollars into the local infrastructure seems to swayed public opinion under the guise of creating jobs – but at what cost, and how long can this charade continue?

Our time discussing these issues with the Suffolk County Government left them complaining that we “Have the wrong Suffolk, you idiot”. Additional time spent with the Suffolk County Council provided no straight answers, with representatives claiming we were “uneducated”, “unhinged”, and “probably adopted”.

Whatever the case, we stand by our readers in our dedication to tracking down all the information you need to know about Suffolk fibre plans and growing reach. We’ll fight the good fight, so you don’t have to.

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