A woman who has seemingly shunned any form of exercise for her entire life has managed to set an endurance world record for talking out of her backside.
For someone who claims to be an award-winning journalist, Yvette Caster missed two vital skills of that noble profession – fact-checking and editorial balance – when she launched a cheap and vitriolic attack on cyclists in a column titled ‘Cyclists are a menace and should be banned from the road’ for the free Metro newspaper.
Her piece was so full of ill-informed gibberish that a team from Guinness World Records confirmed to the Suffolk Gazette it had secured her a place in the record books.
Ms Caster claimed all cyclists were balding, sweaty MAMILS (middle-aged men in lycra) who caused accidents and were a “terrible liability” on the roads.
Further, cyclists looked ridiculous in lycra (it’s actually a safety and comfort feature), and “Exercising on them (bikes) leaves you with a Peter Crouch physique – seriously unenviable”.
Quite how Ms Caster knows exercise when she sees it is beyond me. A look at her photos on Twitter (mainly featuring food) suggests she is not exactly up to speed with keeping fit, and a healthy lifestyle is, er, pie in the sky. Perhaps the only speed she is capable of is rushing to the fridge?
The piece goes on to claim cyclists are rude and – shock, horror – sometimes even ride side-by-side. Perhaps she is unaware cyclists are perfectly entitled to do this? It’s in the Highway Code.
In a final not-so-hilarious flourish, our lifestyle heroine adds: “Let’s be honest, any claims they may make about saving the environment (smug, smug, smug) are surely negated by the amount of fumes emitted by vehicles queued behind them, desperately trying to overtake safely as they wobble about.”
No, Yvette. The only toxic fumes are the ones coming out of your own rear end.
Maybe it’s time you stopped sitting around writing rubbish all day and got out and did some exercise on a bike. You might enjoy the sensation of doing yourself some good and even getting fit. It will also clear your mind, something that will come in useful because it is so clearly full of crap.
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