Sugar beet factory switches to tofu production

By Tatum Lyle
Health Correspondent

A Suffolk sugar beet factory is switching to tofu production because health warnings have crippled sugar consumption.

K.Kole Ltd, of Bury St Edmunds, which employs 750 people has seen sugar sales fall by 40 per cent since January when shoppers were urged to cut sugary snacks to prevent obesity and diabetes.

“Lardy cake consumption is down 20 per cent, custard pies down ten percent and the market for rhubarb crumble has just fallen out of the bottom,” said managing director Gary Baldi.

He added: “Demand for sugar is at an all-time low and we cannot continue like this. Tofu is the way forward.”

Tofu is low-fat, high protein – but the fact that people can’t stand the sight of it will have to be addressed through bossy diktats from Government health freaks like Eric Pickles.

tofuA slab of delicious tofu

Farmers are worried that changes to the historic local sugar industry will mean a huge fall in jobs. A spokesman said: “It’s all very well turning to tofu but it’s Japanese and we don’t even know if it will grow in our climate.”

Lobby group Keep Suffolk Sweet is urging consumers to buy MORE sugar. “A cake a day keeps the tofu away,” said Candy Barr.

“First they told us salt was bad for us, then it was okay. Then they said butter was bad, then that was okay as well. They’ll be telling us next that four treacle pies washed down with three pints of vodka is bad for us,” explained Mrs Barr.

“We believe in moderation in all things. A little of what you fancy does you good. I always stop at that fifth Mars bar and never eat more than 12 Twixes. I’m only three stone overweight and I am doing my bit for the poor sugar workers.”

But a spokesman for the British Union for Nutrition (BUN) said: “It’s the hidden sugars in bars of chocolate, meringues and toffees that worry us most.

“People need to be able to make informed choices. We believe that a warning sign with rows of coffins indicating sugar levels should be prominent on all food items.

“There is nothing wrong with a cube of tofu for that between-meal snack. You can always take the taste away with a few packets of cheese and onion crisps and a pint of Adnams.”

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