Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Everyone booking April 12th off work all of a sudden

pub garden

Britain is booking Monday, April 12th off work so that it can go to the pub.

Boris Johnson today sounded the starting gun for one of the country’s biggest-ever piss-ups.

As he revealed the roadmap for the exit from lockdown, he revealed pubs could open from April 12th.

Everybody was delighted – before realising that is a Monday.

HR manager Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Clearly everyone realised they would need to take the day off to enjoy the first day back in the pub.

“We have 50 people working in our Ipswich office, and 44 of them have already been in touch this afternoon to try and book Monday, April 12th off.

“At this rate we will have to have some sort of shift system.”

Pubs are looking forward to finally serving punters again, even if it is outdoors only.

“We don’t care if it’s unseasonably cold or peeing down with rain, we shall be sitting out there for hours,” explained boozer Steve Walshe, 43.

Celebrate with a mug

Enjoy a mug from the Suffolk Gazette. Buy from the many mugs online at Dirty Old Goat, or buy direct from the selection below…

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