Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Editor in public indecency probe

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

The editor of the Suffolk Gazette newspaper is being investigated by Norfolk cops for lewd lycra offences.

Police were called to rural lanes in three parts of south-east Norfolk on Sunday following complaints about a portly gentleman on a bike, bursting out of his tight shirt and shorts.

They caught up with the slow-going cyclist, who claimed he was merely on a 150-mile charity cycle ride raising money for the Ipswich Town Foundation and Futurestars charities.

Norfolk police spokesperson Sergeant Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “We found it suspicious that a gentleman of this physique was able to cycle 15 miles, let alone 150.

“But it seems there was proof of his long journey because he had been spotted ‘rehydrating’ in various pubs along the way.

“He claimed all the pro cyclists had to take on fluids.”

Further investigations revealed the editor was one of around 40 cyclists taking part in the charity ride.

They included former Ipswich Town football stars Terry Butcher, a former England captain, plus Kieron Dyer, Matt Holland, Titus Bramble Simon Milton and Luke Varney.

Former Ipswich stars Terry Butcher, Matt Holland, Titus Bramble, Kieron Dyer, Luke Varney and Simon Milton
Former Ipswich stars Terry Butcher, Matt Holland, Titus Bramble, Kieron Dyer, Luke Varney and Simon Milton

But these ex-players, who all clearly had athletic ability on their bikes, had also wondered about the editor of the Suffolk Gazette.

In fact, they dubbed him and his pal The Hairy Bikers because they were called Simon and Dave, were rotund, were on a bike and quite liked their food.

Here is what Matt Holland had to say about them.

Charity ride organisers persuaded cops that the slow-paced editor and his friend were in fact on a charity ride and had a licence to wear some quite shockingly tight lycra.

Then the call went out that Terry Butcher and Kieron Dyer had taken a wrong turn and were lost, presumed kidnapped, somewhere in rural Norfolk.

So the cops went to look for them and left the editor in peace to finish his pint.

If you want to donate to the excellent fund-raising effort, you can do so on the editor’s fund page. So far, over £40,000 has been raised by intrepid cyclists.

Legend in the back row – the Suffolk Gazette editor. Also pictured, Terry Butcher

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