Sunday, June 16, 2024

Cliff Richard ‘to blame’ for Elvis Presley’s early death

GRACELAND, MEMPHIS, USA – It is being reported that Elvis Presley, the King of Rock and Roll, deliberately indulged in a diet of endless hamburgers and squirrel sandwiches in 1975.

By Iona Diamond, Fashion Editor

The purported reason? To avoid a meeting with British pop singer Cliff Richard.

Richard – the ‘Peter Pan of pop’, recently claimed on the ‘This Morning‘ sofa that he declined an opportunity. To meet Elvis Presley that year because the King had put on some extra pounds.

A little less conversation

According to unnamed sources close to the Graceland kitchen, Elvis Presley. Upon learning of Richard’s reluctance to meet a slightly plumper version of the rock icon, decided to get fat – really fat. For the next three weeks. Presley indulged in copious amounts of his favourite, fat-filled dishes including; Cheese’n’bacon burgers, fried squirrel, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches fried in butter. Mmmmmmm!

“He was determined to dodge Cliff,” confided a former kitchen staffer at Graceland to the SUFFOLK GAZETTE, “so we had endless orders for this fatty, grease-covered calorific shit that ‘E’ loved so much. He just didn’t want to meet the dick.”

Return to slender

Cliff Richard, known for his clean-cut image and Elvis Presley-inspired style. Recounted his decision on a recent appearance on ‘This Morning’ this week. “Elvis Presley had put on quite a bit of weight, and if I was going to meet him. I’d really like him to look good,”

Richard explained, unwittingly setting off a storm of speculation about whether or not it was more likely that Elvis just couldn’t give a shit about meeting his second-rate, chipmunk-toothed impersonator.

Presley died two years after the non-meeting with Richard from a heart attack which was brought on in part by his unhealthy diet. Some allege that Cliff’s decision to avoid meeting ‘Fat Elvis’ makes him partly responsible for the King’s untimely death.

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