Monday, March 18, 2024

Cheddar Man looks like everyone from Norfolk

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By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

There was widespread confusion today when it emerged that Cheddar Man looks like every man and woman in Norfolk.

Cutting edge DNA analysis by the Natural History Museum proved that a Briton from 10,000 years ago had dark skin and blue eyes.

And the accompanying image showed a wild-looking man with long unkempt hair, a wispy beard and a strange, vacant expression.

Cheddar Man

The release of the image threw Norfolk people into disarray because the man looked like everybody they know.

Suddenly residents across the rural, backward county saw the face on the news and assumed it was a photofit of a relative wanted by police.

Bubba Spuckler, who runs a smallholding with his sister and their eight children, was alarmed.

“I was watching the news and then a picture of what could have been my brother, sister, mother, father, uncle and auntie came up.

“I assumed they were in trouble with the law again, then I saw it was a photo of a bloke from Somerset who has nothing to do with Norfolk or my family.

“I think it is fake news.”

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At 10,000 years old, Cheddar Man is Britain’s oldest complete skeleton and was discovered in 1903 in Somerset’s Cheddar Gorge.

Genome analysis for a facial reconstruction produced the image, and showed that lighter skin characteristic of modern Europeans is a relatively recent phenomenon.

But crucially, it confirmed that people from Norfolk, which is where ducks first evolved, still look like something from Prehistoric Britain.

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