GRANTHAM, LINCOLNSHIRE – Grantham, birthplace of former Prime Minister and part-time disco enthusiast, Margaret Thatcher, is preparing to host the “Festival of Thatcher” this October, marking 100 years since her birth.

Entertainment Editor: Arthur Pint

South Kesteven District Council announced a week-long programme of festivities. Proposals include specially dedicated beers like Iron Lady IPA and Grantham Lass Lager, which organisers say will “relate to the Thatcher experience” — presumably bitter, hard to swallow, and leaving a lingering impact for decades.

While the official schedule remains more elusive than affordable council housing, leaked documents from the Local Democracy Reporting Service suggest plans are afoot to rename Grantham’s central square to “St. Margaret’s Groovepad” for one night only — a nod to a little-known confession Thatcher once made to Cabinet enforcer and personal confidant, Sir Norman Tebbit.

Let’s get this Tory party started

According to a source close to Sir Norman, the former PM once leaned in during a particularly long Cabinet meeting on privatisation and whispered, “Norman, sometimes I wish I could pack it all in and become a DJ. Imagine it — Maggie on the decks, spinning for the nation.” Though the moment was lost beneath an argument about rail fares, Sir Norman reportedly never forgot.

“The rhythm of the free market is not so different from the beat of a disco anthem,” he reflected years later in his unpublished memoir Spinning & Winning: My Years with Margaret.

As anticipation builds, locals remain divided. One councillor suggested a silent disco “out of respect”, while another proposed a rave in the style of the Falklands campaign — short, triumphant, and soundtracked by Queen.

The Iron Lady may be gone, but in Grantham, her remix lives on.

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