LONDON – In a bold tribute to 80 years of post-war progress, the Royal Mail has announced a commemorative set of stamps to mark the anniversary of Victory in Europe Day, reminding the public precisely what the “greatest generation” gave their lives to protect.

By Our Consumer Correspondent: Colin Allcabs

The four-stamp collection, tastefully entitled “What We Fought For”, is said to reflect the “rich tapestry” of modern Britain—a nation forged in the fires of wartime heroism and now smouldering in a peculiar kind of domestic chaos.

First up: a poignant image of uncollected rubbish festering on the streets of Birmingham, representing the enduring British value of stubborn local government disputes. Next, a touching snapshot of illegal migrants in dinghies crossing the Channel, said to symbolise “our proud maritime history and global appeal.”

The third stamp features a group of university students protesting passionately for trans rights, capturing the essence of Britain’s vibrant tradition of shouting at statues. Rounding off the set is a dramatic scene of a London street protest, with angry Muslims waving Palestinian flags—an image Royal Mail insists “reflects our proud commitment to free speech, conditional on not upsetting the Daily Mail.”

First class woke

A spokesperson for the Royal Mail said the stamps “celebrate the diverse ways in which Britain has evolved—or at least changed direction—since Sir Winston Churchill lit a cigar and declared Europe victorious.”

Critics have called the collection “deeply unpatriotic,” while supporters insist it’s “First class woke!”

Vera Lynn could not be reached for comment, on account of having passed away, though one imagines the bluebirds might be circling overhead in quiet confusion.

The stamp set will be available from May 8th, Victory in Europe Day.