Saturday, June 1, 2024

Toilet roll would have saved dinosaurs from extinction

Dinosaurs had no toilet roll
T Rex had no toilet roll

Dinosaurs would not have been wiped out if they had stocked up on loo roll, scientists have confirmed.

The devastating asteroid collision with earth 66 million years ago killed off only those creatures who did not panic buy toilet paper.

Palaeontologist Dr Lorraine Fisher, 34, said recently-found fossils confirmed none of the dead dinosaurs had any loo roll with them at the time of death.

“This exciting news confirms that people we were calling idiots only yesterday for panic buying loo roll are, in fact, ahead of the curve.

“The parallels are clear: in the face of a global emergency, you must have toilet paper to survive.”

It is believed that tyrannosaurus rex dinosaurs were the first to perish because they had tiny arms and couldn’t reach the bog roll on the supermarket shelves.

“Needless to say, none of the other dinosaurs felt like helping them out, given that they had been trying to eat them only days before,” Dr Fisher added.

The Suffolk Gazette is maintaining round-the-clock coverage of coronavirus in a desperate attempt to get some revenue. Click here for our coronavirus news coverage.

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