Top drug addict admits: I failed a sports test

By Hugh Dunnett
Crime Correspondent

A famous drug addict broke down in tears yesterday when he admitted to failing a sports test.

Darren Dee told a hushed news conference he had been caught playing tennis in Ipswich – despite it being a banned activity for drug users since the New Year.

“I missed the memo about tennis being outlawed by the underworld,” said Dee, 34, one of Suffolk’s most well-known addicts with a string of impressive convictions to his name.

“Honestly, it was just the one game with a mate in Christchurch Park, but now it’s ruined everything I’ve worked for since I was 13.”

The drug world’s organising body has now suspended Dee from all doping activities, but it is widely accepted the failed sports test will bring the curtain down on his illustrious criminal career.

drug-addict-sport-testWhat a dope: Darren Dee admitted failing a sports test
From humble beginnings on an Ipswich housing estate, Dee rose from occasional cannabis user to being a champion cocaine and heroin abuser. He shot up the police most wanted list, and for a period in 2013 was Suffolk’s most notorious drug addict.

Dee made a fortune from corporate sponsorships, including international chemist outfit Nuke, but already many are signalling they intend to drop him because of his sport shame.

Tennis, which is believed to have been developed in France, has been used by some drug addicts for years but was only outlawed from January 1 because of its performance-enhancing properties.

A drug underworld insider told the Suffolk Gazette: “Tennis was found to increase the blood flow and therefore deemed to give an unfair advantage to drug users who played it.

“Dee was given a routine sports test after a drug session last Tuesday when the presence of tennis was discovered.

“His bed sit in Ipswich was searched and we found a stash of paraphernalia, including a racket, some white shorts and four balls.”

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One Response

  1. Sue Barker's Friend March 8, 2016

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