Theresa May has demanded to know how Scotland managed to exit Europe in only 90 minutes.

The Prime Minister noted with a mixture of envy and fury that Scotland manager Alex McLeish orchestrated an orderly exit by simply losing 3-0 to mighty Kazakhstan in the European Championship qualifier yesterday.

While Mrs May has taken three years to get absolutely nowhere, Mr McLeish sorted it all out in an hour and a half.

If there was any doubt about Scotland’s ultimate shut-out from Europe, the team have to play San Marino this weekend. And if that’s not tricky enough, it’s Cyprus in June.

Political commentator Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Brexiteers have looked at Alex McLeish and asked, ‘Why isn’t he in charge of Brexit?’

“It’s clear Britain wouldn’t be in this mess if he was. We would have left Europe in no time at all.”

Scotland were 2-0 down within 10 minutes in Kazakhstan, a country so rubbish at football it is ranked 117th in the world.

Quite how McLeish masterminded the result will go down in European history.