Netflix reboots Peckham’s finest with high-speed chases and a go-faster Reliant.

By Our Entertainment Editor: Arthur Pint

PECKHAM, LONDON – Netflix has officially acquired the Only Fools and Horses franchise. The streaming giant announced today that the grit of South London will be traded for the gloss of Bay City in a total reimagining of the Trotter legacy, styled strictly in the mould of the 1970s cult classic Starsky & Hutch.

The centerpiece of this “bold pivot” is a complete overhaul of the Trotter Independent Traders’ iconic 1967 Reliant Regal. Gone is the “dirty” yellow paint and the rusted “Tax in Post” sticker. In its place, Netflix producers have unveiled a vibrant “Victory Red” finish featuring the unmistakable white “Vector” go-faster stripe.

Plonker & Del Boy

“We believe the missing ingredient in the original Peckham narrative was a high-speed, tire-shredding car chase,” said a Netflix spokesperson while wearing aviator sunglasses indoors. “By applying the Gran Torino aesthetic to a three-wheeled fiberglass micro-van, we are signaling to our audience that Del Boy is no longer just selling hooky watches—he’s sliding over the hood of a vehicle that has a 45% chance of tipping over during a sharp left turn.”

Netflix reboot

The series, reportedly titled Plonker & Del Boy, will follow the hapless brothers as they navigate the seedy underworld of the Nelson Mandela House estate, but with significantly more slow-motion explosions and feathered hair. Scripts suggest that instead of falling through a bar flap, Del Boy will now perform tactical rolls into illicit deals involving “pre-loved” deep-fat fryers.

While fans have expressed concerns regarding the Reliant’s 700cc engine’s ability to outrun anything faster than a briskly walking pigeon, Netflix remains confident. “It’s about the vibe,” the studio confirmed. “Peckham is ready for its close-up, provided that close-up involves a lot of burning rubber and synthetic denim.”

Meanwhile: Baywatch reboot to start filming on Lowestoft beach