Thursday, August 18, 2022

Norfolk app warns if your date is a relative

Family way: Darlene Spuckler gets a timely warning

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

Norfolk people must now refer to a phone app to determine if their date is a relative.

The ‘kissing cousins’ app will help reduce the number of family members interbreeding in the rural county.

Studies have found the gene pool in Norfolk is far too shallow, causing mental and physical health issues – creating a population mocked nationwide as “Norfolk Numpties”.

Now the app, developed by Tight Genes Tech Ltd of Suffolk, is a legal necessity.

Every Norfolk adult (and those deemed nearly ready) are now forced to submit DNA and register with the Tight Genes app.

When a boy or girl tries to hook up with a partner, the app will determine if they are related.

Dr Lorraine Fisher, 34, the scientist behind the technology, said: “Both people hold their phones up to each other, and the system will check if the owners are related.

“If they are, the screen pops up with a warning message. It’s up to the individual whether they want to carry on with a physical relationship with their brother, uncle, father or cousin.

“No doubt some will as this has been common in Norfolk for centuries, but it is hoped enough people will heed the warnings.

“It will take a few generations, but this work will ensure new genes prosper in Norfolk and the county can become normalised.”

The Government has become so concerned about Norfolk inbreeding that the app will be compulsory from March 1 this year. Anyone caught kissing or fondling – or worse – without referring to the app will be prosecuted.

Mugs with free handles

You can buy special Suffolk Gazette mugs that come complete with free handles. You can even use them with either hand – and, just for Norfolk people, the handles are large enough to fit six fingers. Buy from the Dirty Old Goat website, or direct below…

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