SUFFOLK, UK – Suffolk Airlines, East Anglia’s favourite (and only) international carrier, has reported an unprecedented spike in requests for seat 11A following what social media is calling the “Miracle of Ahmedabad.”

Security Correspondent: Ben Twarters

The frenzy comes after British-Indian national Vishwash Kumar Ramesh emerged as the sole survivor of a devastating Air India crash earlier this week, which claimed 241 lives. Ramesh, seated in 11A, reportedly walked from the wreckage wearing a bloodstained shirt and an expression described by witnesses as “mildly inconvenienced.”

Now, Suffolk Airlines says it’s struggling to meet demand.

“We’ve had 947 people try to book 11A on a 42-seater flight to Maastricht,” confirmed airline spokesperson Mandy Thistlethwaite. “One man offered us a goat and two crates of Monster Munch for it. Someone else tried to book 11A on a plane that doesn’t have rows, like our 1983 CropDuster 2000.”

The airline has responded by introducing “11A Experience Packages,” including complimentary laminated boarding passes, a pre-smeared ketchup stain on the headrest, and a safety card autographed by someone named ‘Vish’ (believed to be a cleaner at Bury St Edmunds depot).

Heaven eleven

The actual Seat 11A, meanwhile, has been moved to an illuminated plinth in the departure lounge at RAF Wattisham Leisure Terminal, where pilgrims queue for selfies and minor blessings. One man claimed he placed a scratch card on it and instantly won £10.

Suffolk Airlines CEO Barry Wingleton warned against irrational exuberance: “Let’s remember, statistically, more people have died in seat 11A than survived. It’s not a magic chair, it’s just the one near the loo.”

Ramesh, currently recovering in hospital, was said to be “bemused but flattered,” and has politely requested privacy — especially from the man who’s been calling daily offering to swap seats with him “for karma purposes.”