LONDON – Buckingham Palace is at the centre of a “terribly wonky balcony” row this week after a refurbishment left senior royals on the tilt.

Royal Editor: Jane Seymour

During VE Day celebrations yesterday, eagle-eyed viewers noticed The Prince of Wales and his family appearing to tilt sideways at roughly 15 degrees, as though caught in a perpetual bow. It has since emerged that the infamous Buckingham Palace balcony—scene of royal waves and public scrutiny—was recently repaired by Ghanaian Yeboah Building Contractors of Putney, a firm now facing what palace aides describe as “a very sternly worded legal action.”

“It’s not just about aesthetics,” one anonymous royal source said. “We can’t have the entire line of succession slowly tipping toward the Mall every time someone waves.”

The King is believed to be seeking damages to recover the cost of what has been dubbed “the Pisa job,” with court papers reportedly including phrases like “gross misalignment” and “unfit for ceremonial purpose.”

Ghana get someone else to do it

The saga has also revived memories of last year’s Coronation controversy, when actress and royal impersonator Adjoa Andoh described the balcony as a “terribly white balcony” in contrast to the more diverse congregation at Westminster Abbey. While that prompted over 8,000 Ofcom complaints, this time critics are more concerned with structural racism of the load-bearing kind.

Reflecting Adjoa’s views, Yeboah Building Contractors issued a statement saying, “We followed d palace’s original blueprints to d letter. We say d balcony is more honky than wonky.”

The royals are said to be consulting a new firm for repairs—rumoured to be a Swiss team known for restoring Alpine clock towers and assembling flat-pack furniture with terrifying precision.

Meanwhile, Prince Louis reportedly enjoyed the tilt, describing the new balcony as “like a fun slide, but for royal duties.”