William and Harry to meet in the ring for good old-fashioned punch-up

Rumors are gathering pace that Britain’s most famous feuding brothers, Princes William and Harry, may finally reunite next month – but not over tea and scones at Buckingham Palace. Instead, whispers from palace insiders suggest the estranged royals are planning to climb into the ring at an East End boxing club to resolve their differences with a good old-fashioned punch-up.

The Duke of Sussex is due back in the UK for “family matters,” but sources insist this includes sparring with the Prince of Wales in a secret, ticketed bout dubbed by wags as “The Battle of the Spare.”

According to reports, William has been spotted training with a personal coach at a discreet Kensington gym, perfecting his jab while muttering “he always got the better Christmas presents.” Meanwhile, Harry, who has bulked up considerably in Montecito through California fitness regimes involving kale smoothies and mindfulness boxing, is said to be working on a devastating left hook nicknamed “the Markle Sparkle.”

King of the ring

Royal observers note that this is not without precedent; King Edward VIII once threatened to box his brother Bertie “for the crown” after losing at backgammon, though the matter was settled with a stiff gin.

Buckingham Palace has refused to comment, but Ladbrokes has already placed William as the slight favourite, citing “longer reach, plus a natural air of righteous fury.”

The venue, believed to be dimly lit boxing club, ‘Harry’s’ near Bethnal Green, has reportedly been pre-booked under the name “Mountbatten-Windsor Dust-Up.”

Should the match go ahead, it will be the first time two royals have squared off in public since Henry VIII wrestled Francis I of France in the 1520s. Historians, however, note that Henry didn’t have to deal with Netflix cameras at ringside.

Meanwhile: Will Smith made life president of Suffolk boxing club