ISRAEL, MIDDLE EAST – A yacht carrying climate activist Greta Thunberg and 11 fellow passengers was intercepted by Israeli forces this week after attempting to breach the naval blockade of Gaza. The vessel, named Madleen, was part of a so-called “Freedom Flotilla” and set sail from Sicily on 1 May with what was billed as “symbolic aid.”

Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks

By the time the Israeli Navy boarded the boat, however, the aid in question had mysteriously vanished — consumed, it turns out, by the activists themselves. Sources close to the operation confirm that the ship’s cargo of tofu jerky, chia seed crackers, sustainable beetroot hummus, and hand-woven vegan snack bars was exhausted during a prolonged two-day standoff with rough seas, mild sunburn, and an intense round of collective anxiety.

According to an IDF spokesperson, “They seemed grateful to see us. Greta Thunberg, in particular, accepted an IDF-issued falafel wrap almost immediately. It was lightly grilled.”

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In a somewhat ironic twist, the activist collective — which has repeatedly accused Israel of cruelty — thanked the military for providing food, water, and a climate-controlled holding cell. “While we condemn the blockade in the strongest terms,” said one anonymous flotilla member while sipping mint tea, “the hummus was unexpectedly decent.”

Greta Thunberg, photographed boarding a flight back to Sweden via France, did not comment, although her recently updated X bio now reads: “Temporarily defeated, forever plant-based.”

Legal representatives for the detained passengers say they will challenge the arrests and “demand the return of the symbolic aid, even if it is now digestively unavailable.”

Meanwhile, the IDF has issued a statement reminding future protest flotillas to “bring more snacks.”

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