Saturday, June 1, 2024

Don’t be a c*nt, buy one for £2.40! exclusively at Wilko

Following the recent news about an Australian porn star with two vaginas, Wilko has jumped on the fannywagon and started offering cunts for only £2.40!

Brianna Paradise, the Aussie sex-witch, famous for sharing out her two vaginas between her husband and her multitude of on-screen lovers, started the craze for having two cunts when she accidentally lost a tampon up her second fanny aged just thirteen.

Now, the craze for additional sex organs is sweeping the nation with women, men, thems and theys of all sexual tastes and persuasions adopting ‘second snatches’ with which they can now urinate at twice the normal speed, indulge in ‘doublesex’, or just impress their friends at dinner parties.

BOGGOF (Buy One Gash, Get One Free)

Also featured in the new ‘extra body parts’ range being introduced into Wilko stores from a fortnight Wednesday are: cock (£2.40), Clitoris (£4.80), anus (£2.40), Fallopian tube (£7.80 each or two for £14), and tits (£4.80 a pair).

With the rest of the world seemingly going mad, it is good to be able to rely on the relative normalcy of being able to simply walk into a shop and buy a cunt or an anus (although to be fair, people have been doing that in London’s Soho for years.)

So with birthdays just around the corner, why not pop down to Wilko and get your best mate a new cock, or treat your wife to a shiny new clitoris to replace her old, worn-out, one!

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