IPSWICH — A west Suffolk museum is preparing to host a dinosaur exhibit next month.

By Our Entertainment Editor: Arthur Pint

Visitors to Boyce’s Hall Museum are in for a prehistoric treat (or shock), as the institution prepares to unveil its most eyebrow-raising exhibit yet: Prehistoric Beasts: How Big Were Their Cocks?

Opening on Saturday, May 3, and running until Sunday, October 5, the exhibit promises six months of jaw-dropping anatomical speculation. The display explores one of palaeontology’s most delicately ignored topics: dinosaur genitalia — real, cast, and gloriously oversized.

A replica triceratops member (helmet and all) has already arrived under a tarpaulin of secrecy, prompting gasps from staff and mild concern from the town council. As part of the museum’s promotional efforts, visitors can enter a “Guess the Length of the Triceracock” competition. Winners will receive an annual ticket to both Boyce’s Hall and the charmingly less phallic East Winslow Anglo-Saxon Village.

Ptero-dick-tyl

The exhibit is a collaboration with the prestigious-sounding but entirely fictional Hardwick Museum of Earth Sciences at the University of Trumpton. Renowned paleoartist and fossil fiddler Rick Ditchard has lent his talents to ensure scientific inaccuracy is rendered as beautifully as possible.

Entry fees, controversially, range from £145 for adults (includes a complimentary badge reading “Hung like a Hadrosaur”), £33 for children and students, and 25p for senior citizens. A souvenir gift shop is also on site, selling, among other treats, Dino-Dick Dickasaurus Rex Bachelorette Party Gifts.

The exhibit sits alongside the museum’s other popular features, including the interactive “Stick Your Head Inside a Velociraptor’s Vagina” tunnel and the “Cretaceous Kama Sutra” wall murals.

Boyce’s Hall urges families, scientists, and those with a questionable sense of curiosity to come along. Just maybe leave Grandma at home.

Latest: British Museum stole our ancient stone – Egypt blamed