Thursday, December 1, 2022

Cock Soup up for Michelin award

Customer surprised after local restaurant served a “special soup” nominated for Michelin award.

Regular readers of the Suffolk Gazette will remember our September report about a karate-chopping incident.that occurred at ‘The Dugout’, the in-house restaurant at Dedham Canoeing Club, Suffolk.

The incident involving local Red Indian thug, Joe Thunderhawk, resulted in the restaurant’s trashing and condemnation. Since then, the Dugout has been rebuilt and last Friday, re-opened with a stylish new décor and menu.

The ethnic eatery, popular with the local watersports-loving Eskimo and red Indian communities,.was full of diners excited to see what the new Dugout had to offer. In preparation for the grand re-opening, head chef, Atiqtalaaq, even traveled to Alaska and Montana,.US states heavily populated with first nation Americans, to research and meticulously plan a new, authentic menu of traditional caribou-based dishes.

Michelin award deserving soup

So you can imagine the surprise on the faces of the customers who eagerly ordered the ‘soup of the day’ up for Michelin award when,.what had been billed as ‘A delicious, caribou meat and seaweed wine soup, unique to the indigenous first nation peoples of North America’ arrived at the tables resembling a Japanese miso-style soup with a large human cock as the main ingredient.

Suffice to say, several (although not all) of the appetizers were immediately returned to the kitchen.absent compliments to the chef.

Cock au vin

Jane, an emo waitress who has worked at the restaurant for two years told this reporter what was behind the cock soup cock-up. “You remember the Joe Thunderhawk incident, yes? Well, Joe’s not normal. He’s off-the-scale insane. After he destroyed the place last time he was here, he was seen cruising around Dedham on his motorbike, late at night, wearing a maternity dress. I know… I told you he was nuts. Anyway, it seems the destruction of the restaurant at his hands was an epiphany for him because a couple of days after he destroyed the place, he graffiti’d Oxfam’s window with “Joe now be woman – woman clothes better”, and that was that.”

Yes, but what has that got to do with the human cock in the caribou soup? I asked Jane.

“Well, I saw him earlier tonight, hanging around the kitchen. You work it out.”

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