Musician’s guitar-case flight stunt fails after noisy mid-loading mishap.

By Our Security Correspondent: Ben Twarters

A Suffolk musician’s attempt to evade an expensive airfare ended abruptly this week after airline staff discovered him concealed inside a guitar case.

Django Fraser, 26, a self-described “economically creative” rock artist from Bury St Edmunds, had reportedly secured a last-minute gig in Rio de Janeiro but balked at the rising cost of flights. According to sources, Fraser devised a plan to smuggle himself aboard a long-haul flight by curling up inside a hard-shell guitar case, which he believed would be loaded into the aircraft hold without question.

“It was airtight in theory,” Fraser later said. “Less so in practice.”

Ground crew at the departure gate for Virgin Atlantic initially processed the case as standard musical equipment. However, suspicions were raised during loading when the case emitted what one baggage handler diplomatically described as “a muffled fart.”

“At first we thought it was a loose valve or pressure issue,” said a staff member. “Then it happened again, with more… confidence.”

Rock & Cheese Roll

The case was promptly opened, revealing Fraser folded tightly around a set of spare guitar strings and a cheese roll. Witnesses reported that he attempted to maintain eye contact “as if this were a perfectly normal boarding procedure.”

Airline officials confirmed that while musical instruments are permitted in the hold, “they are not expected to produce organic sound effects mid-transit.”

Fraser was removed from the loading area and later released without charge, though he was denied boarding and advised to “consider more traditional seating arrangements in future.”

Despite the setback, Fraser remains optimistic. “The gig’s still on,” he said. “I’m looking into shipping myself as a trombone next time, ha ha!”

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