FRAMLINGHAM, SUFFOLK — Suffolk’s renowned pig-farmers have found themselves caught up in Donald Trump’s global trade wars. The former U.S. president, already at odds with China, Canada, Mexico, and the EU, has now imposed a 25% tariff on Suffolk pork exports — apparently triggered by a steak.
By Our Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred
The offending piece of meat was posted online by local farmer Graeme Diggard of Hill Farm, Framlingham. Shared on niche website www.PigfarmersBreakfasts.com, the image showed a seared steak with an uncanny resemblance to Trump himself — complete with a marbled sweep of fat that mimicked the former president’s distinctive hairdo.
“Oi didn’t mean no ‘aaarm,” Diggard explained, bewildered by the international incident. “Oi just thaaart it were funny, loike. The steak looked maaaar presidential than most politicians Oi’ve seen, most of whom look loike a slapped aaaaarse.”
Pork chopped
However, sources close to Trump suggest the former commander-in-chief was less amused. “Sad! A total disgrace, total disgrace” Trump allegedly fumed. “I’ve seen better steaks at Mar-a-Lago. Fake food news!” He promptly ordered a retaliatory 25% tariff on all pork products originating from Suffolk.
Local pig farmers were left scratching their heads. “We didn’t think Suffolk was on Trump’s radar,” said one bewildered pig breeder. “But I guess when your face shows up in a steak, you take notice.”
The tariff has sparked outrage in the UK, with Prime Minister robot Keir Starmer reportedly considering diplomatic action. “It’s a meaty situation, but we’re determined to bring home the bacon,” said a spokesperson for Downing Street.
Meanwhile, Diggard has promised to “keep steak-shaming out of politics” in the future. However, he’s received multiple offers from art collectors who now believe the presidential steak could fetch a small fortune at auction.
Meanwhile: Suffolk farmer signs £20 million deal with M&S to sell supersized pig cuts
