LOWESTOFT, SUFFL – It’s a sin — or at least a minor planning infraction — as Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe, legendary synth-pop duo Pet Shop Boys, have reportedly fallen out after opening rival businesses in Lowestoft, Suffolk, and waging a bitter turf war over a single parking space.
Consumer Correspondent: Colin Allcabs
Tennant’s business, “The Pet Shop” at No. 213 High Street, sells cement, breeze blocks, and timber “for the working man who’s had enough of glossy lifestyle brands.” Next door at No. 214, Lowe’s outlet, “Boyes”, deals exclusively in spare parts for refrigerators, an enterprise he describes as more “Left to My Own Devices” than DIY.
Sources say the duo had once hoped their shops would prove a Positive Role Model for musicians branching into local commerce. But within weeks, tensions rose. “It started with passive-aggressive Post-it notes about axle width,” said a witness. “Now they’re shouting ‘You Only Tell Me You Love Me When You’re Drunk’ across the alley.”
It’s a scandal
The parking dispute escalated after Tennant’s concrete van repeatedly reversed over Lowe’s wheelie bin, prompting Lowe to leave a handwritten note quoting ‘What Have I Done to Deserve This?’ in Sharpie. Tennant retaliated by playing ‘Opportunities (Let’s Make Lots of Money)’ at full volume while unloading sacks of mortar.
Suffolk Council’s mediation offer has so far been declined. “They both want to be Always on My Mind, but there’s only room for one Transit,” said Councillor Glen Dancer. “This is like West End Girls go east, with less synth and more grit.”
As the feud grinds on, locals are caught in the middle, calling it “Lowestoft’s Domino Dancing moment.” Meanwhile, the solitary parking bay remains blocked by a traffic cone bearing the words: Go West.
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