We here at the Suffolk Gazette are big fans of gaming, ever since playing touch the electric fence as children. Mild electrical burns aside, we’re happy to see the modern age is one which makes gaming far easier and more convenient than ever before.
From casino games to mobile video games, every facet of this hobby is now streamlined on an entirely new scale.
A potential major issue here, however, is the growing threat of the Tetris effect, a psychological issue which has been seeing a jump in prevalence throughout the county.
For readers unaware, the Tetris effect refers to a psychological phenomenon whereby continued heavy exposure to a game begins to modify a person’s cognitive patterns, thoughts, images, and dreams.
This concept stemmed from the international hit of Tetris after fans found themselves breaking into supermarkets at night so that they might better rearrange the bread.
As it turns out, this was just the start.
The Roulette Effect
A Halesworth man (David McGee), whose family wishes for him to remain anonymous, ran into trouble recently after he was taken by the excitement of playing roulette online. Following one particularly fortuitous run, McGee attempted to celebrate by removing his pants and painting the local livestock, having them run clockwise around a field in an attempt to increase the scale of the game.
McGee was eventually restrained by local authorities, after which it was revealed that an accidental mega-dose of caffeine probably played the key part in his obsession.
The Pokémon Effect
Making international headlines was an Ixworth woman, 24, who had to be sectioned after starting what has widely been labelled as an animal-fighting ring.
Gathering over 40 different species from the surrounding area, the unnamed Ixworthian had removed her pants and set up a sophisticated arena and seating area within which she invited friends and media.
Luckily enough, no animals were hurt before the woman was apprehended. Only one fight went through and, as it turned out, fighting a bird type against a ghost type was a predictably harmless pursuit.
The Farmville Effect
Bob Handsaw, 45, was perhaps the most unusual case of the Tetris effect seen in recent years. This Ipswich native began his obsession with the Facebook farming game Farmville after being bedridden following a motorcycle accident.
While he originally claimed to play “as a joke”, Handsaw’s Farmville life continued well after his physical rehabilitation was complete.
After a non-stop 46-hour play session, Handsaw was spotted leaving his home in what appeared to be a drunken stupor. Three days later, Handsaw was found pantsless at a Hadleigh farm, having singlehandedly turned five open fields into fully fertilised and well-planted farmland.
It is currently unknown how he managed this without tools, nor is it known how or where he managed to obtain several tonnes worth of apple, lemon, and orange trees.
At this point in time, avoiding these effects seems as simple as two basic steps. The first is having a general limit on consecutive game time, and the second is not consuming enough caffeine to kill a gorilla.
Do this, and your roulette, Pokémon, Tetris, or Farmville and other gaming time will be far less likely to result in embarrassing your family or raising your trouser budget.