As 2025 draws to a close, Suffolk and beyond have seen a year of stories so bizarre, poignant, and occasionally sticky that local residents may require a stiff cup of tea just to process it all.

The year began in January with a literal speeding ticket for the county’s youngest road user: a five-year-old scooter enthusiast in Lowestoft, who somehow accrued six points on a driving licence he won’t be eligible for until 2037. Parents were left stunned, police solemn, and the toddler reportedly moved on to stock car racing on his PlayStation.

February

Brought aquatic policing of a very different kind, as Suffolk’s Special Duck Boat Unit debuted on Blundell Lake to curb a spike in mallard poaching, creating the sort of gentle chaos that only a twenty-foot disguised police duck can inspire.

March

Stratford-upon-Avon witnessed a historical scandal of sorts, as William Shakespeare was revealed to have been a workshy layabout, scribbling his existential indecision in the margins of Twelfth Night. Clearly, procrastination is timeless.

April

headlines followed Margaret Bodge, a retiree from Elveden who claims to have “completed television,” having watched every show on every streaming platform—twice. Experts warned of Total Streaming Saturation Syndrome, while locals simply applauded her dedication.

May

saw Grantham gearing up for a centenary celebration of Margaret Thatcher, complete with bitterly named beers and whispered disco ambitions, while June hosted a High Street feud as the Pet Shop Boys opened rival DIY outlets in Lowestoft, quarrelling over parking and passive-aggressive Post-it notes.

July

offered a thousand-mile heartbreak as Craig Proclaimer finally walked to his ex-girlfriend’s door, only to discover his twin brother had already arrived. August brought Alex Polizzi to migrant hotels, enforcing order with scatter cushions, Egyptian cotton, and her famously raised eyebrow.

September

Meanwhile, chronicled James Edwards of Bury St Edmunds, whose lifelong struggle with the Lottery ended in a £3.50 heartbreak, whileOctober unearthed a six-year-old Keir Starmer in a chimpanzee costume, jam doughnut in hand, demonstrating early flair for managed enthusiasm.

November

saw Meghan Markle commissioning Vic Reeves for a surreal Diana portrait, proving that Dada and royalty mix spectacularly, and December closed the year with Birmingham’s 20-metre rubbish-bag Christmas tree, delighting striking bin workers and clearing out the German Market in equal measure.

From scooter prodigies to pile-driving civic creativity, 2025 has been a year of spectacle, satire, and the quiet, enduring magic of Suffolk life. One thing is certain: if next year is even half as strange, readers may want to invest in eye protection—and a strong nose plug.