IPSWICH AIRPORT – Suffolk Airlines has announced the launch of direct cheap flights to Palestine from Ipswich Airport.

By Our Defence Editor: Doug Trench

Promoted with the tagline “Fly to Freedom—for Less”, the new route promises “non-stop cultural exchange” and “competitive pricing for the politically curious.” Prices start at £49.99, hand luggage and bullet proof vest included.

Company CEO Assad Assad, a former chicken shop magnate and prospective independent MP for Ipswich South, said the decision was driven by “increased public interest in foreign affairs, TikTok documentaries, and end of life tourists.” Questioned by the SUFFOLK GAZETTE on the logistics of flying from a disused airstrip behind a Wickes, Assad replied confidently: “Runway? That’s what fields are for.”

The airline claims it will bypass international airspace complications by “mostly winging it” and has filed a flight plan “somewhere near Jordan.” Flights will be piloted by Suffolk’s finest drone hobbyists, many of whom have “watched several YouTube tutorials.”

One way ticket

Critics have raised concerns that “Palestine” is not a recognised destination in most international aviation software. A company spokesperson responded: “That’s exactly the kind of negativity this airline was founded to ignore.”

Passengers will be required to bring their own travel adapters, moral clarity, and a helmet—“just in case.”

Really cheap flights

The move has been met with mixed reactions. Local activist groups applauded the effort to “raise awareness,” while the Civil Aviation Authority issued a single-word statement: “No.”

The first cheap flight is scheduled for next Tuesday, or whenever enough duct tape can be sourced to finish refurbishing the cockpit. Refreshments will include a complimentary hummus pot and a copy of Middle East for Dummies.

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