Tuesday, November 29, 2022

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A smooth hound shark was spotted in River Stour

Man didn't get crabs but not the kind you think

Durham fisherman gets sad as he could not get crabs from river tees.

First COVID-19, then World War 3, then Amber Heard’s dog stepped on a bee, and now we can’t even get crabs.

What’s next, Elon Musk’s neuralink chip is going to display ads in our dreams? What is going on in 2022?

The Actual Tragedy:

Carcasses of thousands of crabs have been found on the coast near the River Tees. Durham Fishermen fear for the future as lobsters and crabs were found washed up off the North East’s coast.

Lorraine Fisher, 34, is a retired pirate and crustacean expert. She is also the author of “That Was Such A Moby Dick Move Sir” and “Moses found Aquaman when parting the sea and kept it a secret”. 

Fisher says, “This kind of stuff happens when crabs and lobsters simply get tired of being in the water. You just kind of need a break sometimes ya know” Fisher later stated that she believes that there are secret societies out there that are killing sea life. These societies are severely allergic to seafood.

The Findings:

Lorraine Fisher, 34, is a retired pirate and crustacean expert. She is also the author of “That Was Such A Moby Dick Move Sir” and “Moses found Aquaman when parting the sea and kept it a secret”. 

Fisher says, “This kind of stuff happens when crabs and lobsters simply get tired of being in the water. You just kind of need a break sometimes ya know” Fisher later stated that she believes that there are secret societies out there that are killing sea life. These societies are severely allergic to seafood.

Fisher now spends her time consulting with the writers of “Spongebob Squarepants” in order to make the show more believable. She offers invaluable insights about life in the ocean.

The Conclusion:

Fisherman Paul Widdowfield, from Hartlepool, said he had caught “nothing at all” since October. “It’s been abysmal,” he told Suffolk Gazette, adding he had had to let two crew members go. 

His son Jamie said: “It’s heart-breaking really. I think by the end of summer if Durham fisherman can’t find a fishing ground I’ll be out of a job.”

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