Thursday, May 30, 2024

Latest Stories

Country bumpkin Corbyn to tour ‘Downton’ Suffolk

By Len Inn
Political Reporter

The newly-elected leader of Her Majesty’s Opposition, Jeremy Corbyn is to undertake a fact-finding tour of Suffolk in next month, his advisers claim.

The Suffolk Gazette can reveal that Corbyn, who grew up in the rural idyll of Wiltshire, is a self-confessed ‘country bumpkin’ and has a passion for exploring how his new Labour Party line-up can help the county.

A recently-appointed member of his staff, who asked not to be named, showed the Suffolk Gazette a draft copy of his busy travelling itinerary which includes town meetings in Ipswich and Bury St Edmunds as well as visits to Leiston, Stowmarket, Woodbridge, Sudbury, Haverhill and Thetford.

The keen cyclist and teetotal vegetarian is also looking forward to stopping for lunch at the famous Adnams brewery in Southwold before intending to give an evening speech before Aldeburgh Town Council.

The source added: “We were quite surprised by this as Jeremy outlined strong views for reintroducing the people of Suffolk to solid Socialist values like working in the fields, fishing fleets and factories.

“He believes Suffolk people have got fat and lazy on too many years of Tory materialism and spent too much time watching Downton Abbey on 42-inch televisions and stuffed-crust pizzas and he is getting on his bike to show his resolve.”

Jeremy Corbyn: country boy

Mr Corbyn recently described his ‘impeccable middle-class upbringing’ to The Guardian newspaper. He grew up in the picturesque Wiltshire village of Kingston St Michael before moving to a seven-bedroomed home with his parents and three elder brothers in Shropshire.

His official “Team Corbyn” spokesman Karl Engels confirmed the plan, but added that Suffolk was one of several “Toryfied” counties that the new Leader wanted to visit. “He wants the democratically-elected local authorities to rediscover the lost Marxism principal of distribution of wealth. He believes a sharp dose of dialectical materialism will refresh the good people of Suffolk.”

No-one at Suffolk County Council was available for comment.

Like us on Facebook:

Buy us a beer (please)!

🤞 Get our stories on email

Receive awesome content in your inbox, every week.

We don’t spam! Read more in our privacy policy


Most Read

Be a shining star, follow us on Twitter!