DOWNING STREET, WHITEHALL – Westminster City Council has this week erected a permanent ‘U-turn’ traffic sign at the top of Downing Street, citing an “unprecedented increase in metaphorical and political reversals” under Prime Minister Keir Starmer.
Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks
The sign, which features the traditional circular red border with a large black U-arrow, was installed directly outside No.10, reportedly between the ‘Dead End’ and ‘No Through Road’ signs already in place.
“This is not political,” insisted council spokesman Barry Nudge, squinting as workers bolted the sign into place. “It’s just basic traffic safety. When policy changes direction every six days, motorists get confused.”
Going round in circles
Critics say the move is “trolling dressed up as town planning,” pointing to Starmer’s many reversals on tuition fees, child sex gang inquiry, green investment, winter fuel payments, and most recently, disability benefits, which were first to be scrapped, then defended, then embarssingly reinstated with a handwritten apology from Rachel Reeves and a £5 M&S voucher.
The Department for Transport has welcomed the sign as “a vital symbolic aid” in helping foreign dignitaries understand UK politics. The German ambassador was reportedly overheard saying, “Ah! It means he has changed his mind again. Wunderbar.”
Meanwhile, Reform’s Nigel Farage has filed a motion to add “Give Way”, “Slippery When Ambiguous”, and a warning triangle featuring a cartoon of Ed Miliband looking confused.
Asked about the sign during PMQs, Starmer said: “It shows we’re a government willing to course-correct. Or at least reverse park into a less catastrophic version of the future.”
A second sign, reading “No Right Turn,” is expected to appear shortly outside Labour HQ.
