BUCK HOUSE, LONDON – King Charles III has announced a bold new plan to house 50 recently arrived cross-Channel migrants inside Buckingham Palace.

By Our Royal Editor: Jane Seymour

The King, known for his lifelong passion for “those most in need” (as well as talking to plants), has decided that Britain’s most famous residence should finally live up to its 775-room potential.

The scheme, unveiled this morning, will see migrants from Afghanistan, Syria, and Somalia trade in their life jackets for palace bathrobes. With 52 royal and guest bedrooms available, each will enjoy a level of grandeur not usually associated with Home Office accommodation.

Insiders say that Prince Edward, Duke of Edinburgh, has been “politely encouraged” to vacate his suite to make way for the new arrivals. It’s unclear where he will go, though Balmoral’s broom cupboard has been mentioned.

How the other half live

Royal aides have confirmed that the migrants will also have access to the Buckingham palace gardens, state dining rooms, and at least one corgi “for therapy purposes.” Charles is reportedly “thrilled” at the opportunity to blend centuries of tradition with the modern reality of Britain’s open-hearted migration policy, saying, “I’ve always believed in sharing… even if it’s the bathroom.”

Critics, however, have pointed out that the cost of heating the palace’s 1,514 doors and 760 windows could rival the GDP of a small nation. Others question whether the grandeur of the setting might set unrealistic expectations for future arrivals.

Buckingham Palace spokesperson reassured the public that the arrangement would be “temporary” — though, as with most things involving the monarchy, temporary could mean anywhere between six months and several centuries.

It is thought that the Palace Corgis have been rehoused for safekeeping.

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