Ancient Egyptian mask resembles Michael Jackson; fans claim time travel.

By Our Entertainment Editor: Arthur Pint

VALLEY OF THE KINGS, EGYPT — Archaeological authorities announced Thursday the discovery of a 3,000-year-old death mask featuring a facial structure nearly identical to that of the late American recording artist Michael Jackson.

The artefact was recovered from a previously unmapped chamber in the Valley of the Kings, the royal burial ground situated on the West Bank of the Nile. The mask, fashioned from painted limestone and dating back to the New Kingdom period, exhibits several distinct features that have startled researchers: a notably narrow, upturned nose, high-set cheekbones, and large, almond-shaped eyes.

Lead archaeologist Dr. Hisham Salib noted that while the artisan’s identity remains unknown, the anatomical proportions deviate significantly from traditional 18th-century Dynasty aesthetic norms.

King of Pop or King of Egypt?

The discovery has sparked a frenzy among global superfan communities. Groups gathered outside the Luxor Museum claim the artefact is definitive proof of a long-standing conspiracy theory. “The ‘Moonwalk’ wasn’t a dance move; it was a calibrated propulsion method for low-gravity environments,” said Kevin Thorne, a self-described ‘Jacksonologist’ who flew from Ohio for the unveiling. “He wasn’t a man from Indiana; he was an extra-terrestrial time traveller sent to mesmerize the masses before returning to his original era.”

Despite the fervor, the Egyptian Ministry of Tourism and Antiquities maintained a sterile tone. In a brief statement, the ministry classified the resemblance as a “statistical anomaly of sculptural erosion.” They emphasized that there is no empirical evidence suggesting the artefact belongs to a “King of Pop,” but rather a minor court official or priest.

Nevertheless, the “Smooth Criminal” hypothesis continues to gain traction online. While local authorities prepare the mask for carbon dating, devotees remain convinced that the artifact confirms Jackson’s status as a chronologically displaced entity. As of press time, the mask is being prepared for a global touring exhibition, titled ‘Thriller in the Tomb’.