WORKSOP, NOTTINGHAMSHIRE – Shrek and Fiona stunned fans by renewing their marriage vows live on stage at the Acorn Theatre in Worksop, UK. The green power couple, currently touring with Shrek the Musical, took a detour from their usual script to declare — once more, with feeling — that theirs is a love that’s truly “ogre and ogre again.”

Entertainment Editor: Arthur Pint

Following a thunderous curtain call and standing ovation for the sold-out performance, the lights dimmed and a hush fell. Then, to the astonishment of onlookers, Shrek (played by a deeply committed actor in 40 pounds of latex) dropped to one mossy knee and proclaimed, “Fiona, even after all these years, you still make my swamp heart skip a beat.”

Fiona, beaming beneath prosthetic ears and a lovingly applied green complexion, replied, “And you, my love, still know how to clear a room — emotionally and physically.”

Tickets still available

The ceremony included a spontaneous bouquet toss (caught by a woman dressed as Donkey), a re-promise of “in flatulence and in health,” and a duet of Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out for a Hero that had one pensioner in the front row weeping into her meat pie.

The Acorn Theatre confirmed the vows were not part of the script but rather a personal moment shared with fans “because love, like onions, has layers.”

Local Worksop councillors have since offered the couple honorary residency, while Greggs has announced a limited-edition “Swamp Slice” in their honour.

Asked afterward how he felt, Shrek declared, “I’m not a lovey-dovey — I’m a believer.”

And with that, the ogres left the stage — hand in hand, snout to snout, back to the swamp and ready to take on Act II of forever.