Deported migrant returns again, highlighting UK’s confusing, circular immigration system.

By Our Angling Correspondent: Courtney Pike

DOVER, UK – Britain’s already labyrinthine immigration system was thrown into fresh bewilderment this week as a second previously-deported migrant returned to the UK via a small inflatable dinghy—apparently deciding Britain was the reference point for his personal game of “in, out, in, out.”

The Home Office, which had proudly announced the individual’s earlier removal in a press release described internally as “one of the three wins we’ve had this quarter,” was forced to confirm that the man had reappeared in Kent on Tuesday morning. He was found smiling, waving, and reportedly singing what onlookers insist was a melody suspiciously similar to The Hokey Cokey, hence the newly coined term Hokey Cokey Migrants for people who cycle in and out of the system like a bureaucratic revolving door.

You put your left leg in…

Local officials described the man as “remarkably cheerful,” despite being immediately processed into the same paperwork system he had escaped previously. One Border Force officer, speaking anonymously while staring into the middle distance, said, “We really are just printing forms to feed other forms. Sometimes I dream about a form asking me to fill itself in.”

Government sources insist the situation is under control, though they added the same phrase during the Covid response, the exam results algorithm, and the Liz Truss lettuce incident.

Opposition MPs described the returnee as “a symbol of a system that no one fully understands, possibly including the system itself.”

Meanwhile, reports suggest that the illegal was seen carrying a vinyl copy of 80’s pop band, Black Lace’s version of the Hokey Cokey.

Meanwhile: Revealed: yet more Norfolk migrants arrive in Suffolk by train